Glad you are so 'conflicted'. If Remain is a 'hard' position, then guilty. Although I personally don't see how not wanting the UK seriously reduced economically and politically is all that radical but there we are. Coming to terms with the UK's post imperial significance is something that has to be got over and that is painful for some on the right, less so I would have thought on the left.
Remain = not good, because Cameron's hubris has paralysed the UK for 3 years and counting, plus many people were persuaded that a good deal it would be easy, we held all the cards, they needed us more than us them and similar bollox. Plenty of resentment - but at least we might salvage something.
Soft Brexit = very bad, UK worse off. Resentment all round and you don't even get to please anyone.
Hard Brexit = complete disaster. UK very much worse off, would make austerity look like a tea party. All but a few nutters are unhappy.