Ghastly expressions you want to see the back of in 2011

[Basil]

Surely a reasonable word when vampire hunting though?

Goat?

 

[David F]

Somethink... is NOT a word

Most of these aren't effiing words.

 

[Joe Hutch]

So I’m lost in the fog
But I feel like a hundred thousand pounds
Cause I ain’t got a job
Talking audio visual multimedia
Market forces in the workplace
Business management desktop consultancy
IBM ITA
It’s the Chief Executive, fresh from Reykjavik
Motivation relocation
Target achievement supervisory
Maximising your potential
Audit sales team interpersonal
Client data validation
Type fast accurate service customer
Human Resources
Finance development keyboard millennium
Full-time negotiator
5.1 WordPerfect applicant
Continued expansion
Systems purchase challenging environment
Candidate enthusiastic
Thriving driving flexible initiative
Enterprising innovation
Hands-on profile, hands off Angela
Temporary secretary
Drunk on Ferris Wheel McCartney Hogmanay
Organising and recruiting
Spreadsheets costing variance analysis
Field support communication
Direct powerful retail growth
You stick your input in, your output out
Co-ordinate your strategy and shake it all about
And oh oh-oh-oh, here’s the bottom line
I’ll not be taken on board at this present moment in time

Half Man Half Biscuit: ITMA

 

[Joe P]

Greg,

Surely a reasonable word when vampire hunting though?

Damn straight, homey.

Joe

 

[Basil]

Basil,


Buffologist, yes. But not a Certified Buffologist.

That title can be conferred only upon those who have had full Buffy training, not the Luke Skywalker types who bugger off to save Han and Leia from Darth before complete is their training.

Nothing more will I teach you today.

Joe

Forgive me master, but which part of 'certified' allows you to mix 'n' match Buffy and Star Wars metaphors?

 

[Joe P]

Basil,

That's the certification — to be able to Trek up the place one minute, Buff it the next, then Yoda it up the wazoo, all without breaking a sweat, man.

Joe

 

[Basil]

then Yoda it up the wazoo

Watering, my eyes are.

 

[David F]

I know it's a Big Ask, but you gotta accept that language moves on, don't you know?

Moving forward (already ridiculed by Zappa in Tinseltown Rebellion in the 80s; it's a persistent one), legacy types who just don't get it will be right-sized. We need all stakeholders pulling in the same direction..

Keep it authentic.

(to anyone wanting a bit of fun at the expense of management types I recommend Lucy Kellaway's Monday columns in the FT. She makes a living by ridiculing management speak.)

(Stakeholders inevitably conjures an image in my mind of Roman Polanski in The Fearless Vampire Killers (Pardon me, but your teeth are in my neck) or a Neandertal walking around with a choice bit of sirloin)

That's my Dad'' excuse for the atrocities he commits everyday.

What is sloppiness and what is normal evolution?

The example cited, having an "ask"s is clearly a corruption of a verb into noun, so is grammatically wrong. I'm no expert but that's how I see it.

My first boss told me off for saying "hopefully it will be alright", As he correctly observed, whether the object is hopeful or not is irrelevant (apart from once recently, I haven't used that expression in 25 years).

 

[Jonathan Ribee]

Nice pic of Mr Pointy

 

[barrymidd]

Pedants are sad IMO. Yes, that's you lot.

 

[Nic Robinson]

+1 for "Enjoy" and "Bless".

 

[Joe Hutch]

'Work smarter, not harder', to which the appropriate response is 'Shove it up your arse, shithead'.

 

[Nic Robinson]

"Yourself" when used by someone in a call centre to replace a simple "you".

 

[Joe Hutch]

Pedants are sad IMO. Yes, that's you lot.

Pedants invented Teh Internet.

 

[Nic Robinson]

"There's no I in team" (but there are a few in "platitude quoting prick").

 

[Rcook]

"There's no I in team" (but there are a few in "platitude quoting prick").

I prefer "But there are two in 'meaningless platitude'"

 

[Joe Hutch]

Or, 'but there is a me in team, so what's your point?'

 

[Greg]

"There's no I in team" (but there are a few in "platitude quoting prick").

there's also a "u" in punch, which is arguably a justifiable, automatic reaction to that plebeian attempt at group morale building/individual admonishment.

 

[Nic Robinson]

I prefer "But there are two in 'meaningless platitude'"

I think the original from The Office was "There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague', either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go figure."

 

[Basil]

Pedants invented Teh Internet.

Pedants invented the internet.