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Black Tie Wedding

PaulMB said:
I always thought it had to be a lady who, noticing the "gentlemen's" appalling discomfort for the past three hours, while she is having most of her naked skin coolly caressed by the breeze, suggests that they might want to take off their jackets. But it should be an older lady with social standing.
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It's always been a rather grumpy announcement from one of the senior committee members Paul. But I'm sure that in more stylish times you would be correct.
I remember fondly that one member who was rather full of himself had his microphone disconnected when it was his turn to speak. He was then politely heckled by loud requests to 'speak into the microphone please' and ' speak up for the ladies at the back please'
He was left quite hoarse. The only sign of satisfaction was a number of exchanged glances amongst his detractors. I didnt dare smile.
 
So, some friends/family have decided to invite you to one of the most important days of their life and they want to make an occasion of it by making it black tie. If you like them and appreciate the invite then do it properly.

Buy (charity shop) or rent a well fitting DJ, enjoy the occasion and dressing up like everyone else for a change. I like the idea of buying lovely shoes. They really make me feel good. My best shoes are the Churches I purchased for my wedding 30+ years ago and still the most comfortable formal shoes I have ever worn.

The good memories will fully repay the small cost and you putting effort in for their day will make them feel good as well.

I love a wedding.
 
Jezzer said:
Just checked. An M&S tux is ÂŁ110.

FFS. I’m so annoyed!!

I don’t even own any black shoes…
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Oh! What I've picked up from the Swedish upper class clothing code (British might be different?) is that that you can wear almost anything as long as you have the appropriate shoes. Brown during the day, black for dinner (of course, not brown shoes with a tux). My advise is you appear so, maybe with a brown tweed jacket. The real upper class people present (if any) will immediately pick you up as one of them, if slightly eccentric.

Your God sister will probably never speak to you again, but one can't have everything...
 
Two quotes emerging from my ramshackle memory banks:

"Better underdressed than overdressed."

"Never brown in town."

And bow ties should never be pre-knotted. I once spent hours trying to follow knotting diagrams, the ones with arrows and dotted lines.
 
PaulMB said:
I always thought it had to be a lady who, noticing the "gentlemen's" appalling discomfort for the past three hours, while she is having most of her naked skin coolly caressed by the breeze, suggests that they might want to take off their jackets. But it should be an older lady with social standing.
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in Britain, especially at the moment, it's more likely to be because his jacket is s opping wet and if he takes it off there's a chance that his shirt might dry out.
 
PaulMB said:
Two quotes emerging from my ramshackle memory banks:

"Better underdressed than overdressed."

"Never brown in town."

And bow ties should never be pre-knotted. I once spent hours trying to follow knotting diagrams, the ones with arrows and dotted lines.
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I had an ex public school boy teach me how to tie a bow tie when I was at university. The trick is to practice tying it round your leg then graduate to your neck when you have it sorted.
 
PaulMB said:
Didn't know about that rule. Maybe nobody else did.
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I didn't know this either. But I lead a simple life and rarely wear a suit.

I googled it and found some discussion on a clothes forum. It does indeed seem to be a rule that you should wait for the groom to first remove his jacket. Though some members were also arguing that you should never remove your jacket in front of a lady. Others suggested you should never remove your jacket once you leave your house! It all seemed a bit silly and pretentious to be honest.

I guess some people just enjoy following these sorts of rules of etiquette which is fair enough. For myself it just reminds me a bit of being at school and needing permission from the headmaster to remove your blazer when the weather got really hot.
 
Penguin suit from ÂŁ23.49, job done.
Nobody will notice, well not once the drinking starts!

www.smiffys.com

Penguin Costume, with Hooded All in One | Smiffys

Penguin Costume, Black, with Hooded All in One Shuffle around in the Penguin Costume. The all-in-one suit comes with an attached hood. The fun and fury costume is guaranteed to bring the fun to the party. If partying's not your thing, how about lounging around the house wearing the imaginative...
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paulfromcamden said:
I didn't know this either. But I lead a simple life and rarely wear a suit.

I googled it and found some discussion on a clothes forum. It does indeed seem to be a rule that you should wait for the groom to first remove his jacket. Though some members were also arguing that you should never remove your jacket in front of a lady. Others suggested you should never remove your jacket once you leave your house! It all seemed a bit silly and pretentious to be honest.

I guess some people just enjoy following these sorts of rules of etiquette which is fair enough. For myself it just reminds me a bit of being at school and needing permission from the headmaster to remove your blazer when the weather got really hot.
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All this stuff is designed to make people conform and to reinforce social stratification. The code identifies, humiliates and/or excludes people of inadequate social standing and makes people of higher social standing feel good about themselves and their social status.
 
kensalriser said:
All this stuff is designed to make people conform and to reinforce social stratification. The code identifies, humiliates and/or excludes people of inadequate social standing and makes people of higher social standing feel good about themselves and their social status.
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Yeah that crossed my mind too. But I think it's actually more complex than that.

I read a book chapter about the popularisation of fox hunting in the c18th. It became a popular pursuit with the newly monied classes who were keen to ingratiate themselves with the landed gentry. A whole industry sprang up to sell them daft riding clothes and manuals on how to conduct yourself on a hunt day without looking like a pleb. It was all a bit 'trying too hard'.

By contrast, as a member posted upthread, proper old money has nothing to prove.
 
kensalriser said:
All this stuff is designed to make people conform and to reinforce social stratification. The code identifies, humiliates and/or excludes people of inadequate social standing and makes people of higher social standing feel good about themselves and their social status.
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I agree completely. Yet this kind of thing seems deeply ingrained in primitive human nature. I've heard teenagers say they want certain items of clothing, and would rather lock themselves up at home than be seen wearing a certain brand of jeans, T-shirt or trainers. And there are so many nuances and counter-nuances, like Brits and Italians laughing at Americans who get married in dinner jackets. Or people who find it "vulgar" to wear a morning suit to a wedding. I heard someone say, "How horrible! These days only football players and "influencers" wear a morning suit."
One lovely comment I remember hearing on TV, it might have been Maggie Smith in "Downton Abbey," was "More than twelve bridesmaids is vulgar."
 
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