I’ve been listening to FIP Jazz, and have been heartened by the good advice that women are handing out to their respective babies...
First was someone named Dida, pointing out the waste that was inevitable if baby took peaches from her tree, knowing full well that he doesn’t intend to eat them...
If you don’t like my peaches, baby
Why do you shake my tree?
Get out of my orchard, baby
Let my peach tree be!
...quite so, Dida. I approve of the veiled threat of a trespass prosecution, too.
Next came Julia Lee, with some excellent advice for her baby, who is obviously something of a careless driver...
Come and see me baby, but please don’t come too soon...
You’re going too fast, you better take care
You might get a flat and you ain’t got no spare
Compare this with Nina Simone, who was next and whinged non-stop about her bowl not having enough sugar in it and her clothes being inadequately steamed! Blimey Nina, take it from me - it’s a sellers’ market out there. Don’t let even a mediocre butler go, the chances of finding a better one any time soon are zero.