Undertaken by a hearse and other tales from the road today

[TheDecameron]

My neck is a bit stiff this morning. Not as bad as his rear passenger perhaps.

 

[a.palfreyman]

My neck is a bit stiff this morning. Not as bad as his rear passenger perhaps.

Make sure you have enough water in the glass to swallow the little blue pill in one.

Unfortunately, I see kn08-heads most days, people who undertake you on round-abouts when turning right, people who race up the outside and push in where two lanes merge, people who use the right-hand lane of the round-about to overtake when everybody is going straight on. Me first and fcuk the rest of you. Wish I had an old mk1 land-rover with bull bars as I'd like to ram some of them off the road to be honest.

AP

 

[Mescalito]

Make sure you have enough water in the glass to swallow the little blue pill in one.

Unfortunately, I see kn08-heads most days, people who undertake you on round-abouts when turning right, people who race up the outside and push in where two lanes merge, people who use the right-hand lane of the round-about to overtake when everybody is going straight on. Me first and fcuk the rest of you. Wish I had an old mk1 land-rover with bull bars as I'd like to ram some of them off the road to be honest.

AP

Thge operative word is merge. You are supposed to let them in when 2 lanes merge into one.

Chris

 

[Pete MB&D]

This new Rolls Royce Phantom hearse was in the news the other day costing over £500k

But the one I might expect to overtake most other cars would be this Maserati Quattroporte hearse

Those RR are a Nottingham undertakers.

I would have the Maserati if I was given the choice.

Pete

 

[KC Cantiaci]

Those RR are a Nottingham undertakers.



I would have the Maserati if I was given the choice.



Pete

Back of a transit would do for me as I wouldn't know anything about it anyway

 

[TheDecameron]

Now here is a very fine Aberdeenshire undertaker,

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-30023789

It's a very cheeky little manoeuvre and well worth watching the clip for the sense of surprise.

 

[TheDecameron]

Travelling home this evening, close to the scene of my rear ending by the undertaker a couple of weeks ago (his insurer, Aviva (delicious irony) put their hands up),I was moving in two lanes of thick traffic going at 20mph. Old dear in a Polo indicates, pulls out into a gap in lane two and immediately rear ends the car in front. Thump, tinkle.
A few minutes later the slow traffic is explained- a mangled motorcycle in lane one, rider on his back on side road being tended to while waiting for the paramedic to get to him.
Darkness, greasy road surface, congestion and people still driving like idiots.

 

[TheDecameron]

Death Wish II on the Franschhoek Pass today. 4WD on my rear bumper overtakes on a blind bend, crossing double solid lines. He has a cross dangling from his rear view mirror and I imagine he is keen to meet his maker and take a few others with him. Shortly after, 6 motorbikes do the same- oncoming traffic sounding their horns. We stop and walk at the view point and 30 min later a police car, emergency rescue vehicle and ambulance go charging up the Pass in the direction of the wacky racers.
Heading back down the Pass there's a traffic jam. The traffic control car coming up behind the other emergency vehicles to marshal traffic at the accident site has almost gone under an atriculated lorry coming down the pass, out of a hairpin.
The ambulance carrying the dead or alive biker coming back down is now caught up for 30 min, as is the car that hit the biker, being towed. Both airbags deployed, spiders web cracking to its windscreen where I think the biker's head hit.






https://www.dropbox.com/s/9au57k71n71neyb/image.jpg?dl=0

 

[TheDecameron]

What is it about Friday afternoons? A white Range Rover Squat into the back of a BMW convertible in lane 2 of a dual carriageway with a 40mph limit -half a mile from a divisional traffic police HQ. You'd think they'd know better. Even if the increased photoperiod has elevated testosterone levels. Plenty of boys in blue to marshall the irate and massive queues caused by the Squat driver....and press charges.


One like this,

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...0-Range-Rover-left-wedged-basement-crash.html

 

[Guest432]

What is it about Friday afternoons? A white Range Rover Squat into the back of a BMW convertible in lane 2 of a dual carriageway with a 40mph limit -half a mile from a divisional traffic police HQ. You'd think they'd know better. Even if the increased photoperiod has elevated testosterone levels. Plenty of boys in blue to marshall the irate and massive queues caused by the Squat driver....and press charges.


One like this,

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...0-Range-Rover-left-wedged-basement-crash.html

Hmmm £80,000 510 hp Range Rover with four girls in crashes at 5am on a sunday and the police say it has nothing to do with them?

The Metropolitan Police said that the incident was not a matter for them and they would not be investigating.

 

[Ginger]

Why should it be? What's to investigate?

 

[Sue Pertwee-Tyr]

aw, I thought you meant an undertaker. I was going to chisel you since Im looking for a cheap deal on caskets- want to mount a pair of Tannoy 12" DCs in a novel enclosure, a talking point for the lounge

I think Avalon beat you to it.

 

[TheDecameron]

It's like déjà vu all over again.
Friday 4.30pm, dual carriage way, white squat Range Rover in a three car smash. This car must be some sort of shit magnet, one that other losers want to race with. Maybe it's the same guy from 17th April working his magic in Edinburgh this time?


Hell yeah,

https://tonymarturano.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/i_2011061116563690a.jpg

 

[Yank]

Whatsa "squat"?

 

[TheDecameron]

The range rover that looks like someone has trodden on it, like Tony's one above- he's actually taller than it.

Here's one with added frontal compression-

http://images.indianexpress.com/2015/04/accident-759.jpg

 

[Pete MB&D]

I call them Strange Rovers.

Pete