Undertaken by a hearse and other tales from the road today

[TheDecameron]

A very new looking hearse (Mercedes), weaving assertively shall we say in traffic and I was doing 60 in a 50 through multiple junctions and merging traffic flows. I could not keep up, esp when he did 60 through a busy 40. I think it might have been a Brabus due to the "B" on the back. In fact he was heading back to the death depot after an honest days labour at 3.30pm. Must have been a stiff chassis from the way he was throwing it around, and no, there was no one in the back, so no excuse. When I passed him I thought about putting the window down and shouting " if you keep driving like that and you'll end up in the back."

Half an hour earlier I was almost taken out by a man carrying a 10ft long piece of 4"x2" outside B&Q. He was attempting to cross the road and the plank stuck 5ft out onto the road. He was either pissed or stupid but given the location, probably both.

 

[Cav]

Good job you were paying attention - as all road users should.

You seem to be complaining that someone was exceeding the speed limit more than you?

 

[TheDecameron]

just about everyone was 10 above the 50 except the hearse and he was shifting lanes causing braking. Ive never seen a stiff carrier move like that before. I actually thought it had been nicked til I saw the old codger in a morning suit at the wheel.

 

[markt]

[SNIP]Must have been a stiff chassis from the way he was throwing it around[/SNIP]

Do you feel as if you are living in a carry-on film?

No harm in asking

 

[TheDecameron]

it was a monocoque

 

[markt]

That's an awful thing to say about a dead body.

 

[TheDecameron]

how very dare you

 

[markt]

arf

 

[dss]

They are out today there.

A person driving a BMW 3-series car used poor judgment of speed / distance, pulled out on to a large clear roundabout in front of me from the left, realised they had done it .... and just stopped across three lanes is it... I managed to pull up in time to avoid any unpleasantness. I really don't know why they let them out unsupervised.

DS

 

[TheDecameron]

was it a spiv boy larging it?

 

[herb]

I was carved up by Keith Moon's hearse on the Salisbury Plain many years ago. He drove it like he played the drums. I was honoured. He bought from a relative of mine, a Daimler I think it was.

 

[TheDecameron]

herb, you in the trade yourself?

 

[herb]

No, not my scene at all. My relative was a Jehovah's Witness, and a car dealer....

 

[TheDecameron]

aw, I thought you meant an undertaker. I was going to chisel you since Im looking for a cheap deal on caskets- want to mount a pair of Tannoy 12" DCs in a novel enclosure, a talking point for the lounge

 

[herb]

Ah, a Munster fan perhaps? Now THAT was a hearse -

 

[Pete the Feet]

Some old tosser in a Volvo 4x4 pulled out on me on Wednesday and both he and his equally beligerent wife both gave me a dirty look. Normally I would have remonstrated but the fact that I narrowly missed T boning him and his pug ugly wife left me speechless for once. He then shot up the road to the mini roundabout where he performed a similar stunt almost swerving onto the kerb and almost wiping out some pedestrians in the process.
Young and old, male or female what is it about some 4x4 drivers and passengers?

 

[Still]

A road anecdote happened to me after dark this evening.
I was driving along an unclassified/unlit winding road with variable width 1.5 to 2 lanes, & occasional sharp blind bends in cuttings.
Just after a bend a police car was stationary across the road, & a second car half off the road.
No visible lights on either car. I didn't get out to look, but estimate I stopped with 10-15cms spare.
The two pcs I saw looked quite scared as I screeched to a stop.

 

[Yank]

aw, I thought you meant an undertaker. I was going to chisel you since Im looking for a cheap deal on caskets- want to mount a pair of Tannoy 12" DCs in a novel enclosure, a talking point for the lounge

Undertaken by an undertaker, very good.

 

[TheDecameron]

A road anecdote happened to me after dark this evening.
I was driving along an unclassified/unlit winding road with variable width 1.5 to 2 lanes, & occasional sharp blind bends in cuttings.
Just after a bend a police car was stationary across the road, & a second car half off the road.
No visible lights on either car. I didn't get out to look, but estimate I stopped with 10-15cms spare.
The two pcs I saw looked quite scared as I screeched to a stop.

Were they carrying out some urgent dogging?

 

[deeslexia]

I think the drivers are His or Hearse versions .