Useful facts or tips that everyone should know

[avole]

Always tell your partner she/he looks better after sex. Best way to find out whether the relationship and the rocks are converging.

 

[Stunsworth]

If you're having a party ask each of your guests to swallow a numbered disk. Then if you discover a pile of vomit it the morning you'll know who to blame.

 

[rbrown]

Help prevent bird flu by adding Lemsip to your bird bath.

PS don't forget to add night nurse for owls.

 

[lazycat]

Always pinch the top of a condom when rolling it on.

Much less chance of bursting.

 

[Rug Doc]

Some great ones here. My life is getting easier by the second.

 

[JensenHealey]

Always tell your partner she/he looks better after sex. Best way to find out whether the relationship and the rocks are converging.

It is certainly a fast way to reassure yourself, or not, that they have the sense of humour you think they have!

Mind you, your first problem is getting the sex. Compliments afterwards seems rather redundant if you do.

 

[Bob McC]

Always tell your partner she/he looks better after sex. Best way to find out whether the relationship and the rocks are converging.

Before or after you wake up?

 

[-alan-]

Mind you, your first problem is getting the sex. Compliments afterwards seems rather redundant if you do.

Play the long game you must, Padawan

 

[Fatmarley]

Someone just posted this on another forum and I thought it could come in handy to know.

Test if your remote sends a signal

 

[Jamie]

To keep her on her toes, always introduce your wife at gatherings as 'my first wife'.

 

[Bob McC]

Someone just posted this on another forum and I thought it could come in handy to know.

Test if your remote sends a signal

Alternatively...

Does it turn the tv on?

 

[Darmok]

Someone just posted this on another forum and I thought it could come in handy to know.

Test if your remote sends a signal

It actually works better if you fire your RC at a switched on FM radio.

Adjust FM tuner to tune into RCs frequency.

This was known way before the teckno you post about ever even existed, fyi.

 

[Barrymagrec]

Alternatively...

Does it turn the tv on?

You wouldn`t want to be the chap that threw out 20 TVs before trying a new battery in the remote?

 

[ks.234]

Always pinch the top of a condom when rolling it on.

Much less chance of bursting.

What’s a condom?

 

[lazycat]

What’s a condom?

Ask your priest..

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/12/four-in-five-vatican-priests-are-gay-book-claims

 

[Darmok]

What’s a condom?

https://www.theguardian.com/politic...teve-bell-on-david-camerons-resignation-video

 

[cooky1257]

Don't bump your granny while she's shaving.

 

[Rug Doc]

When you buy hifi gear on eBay, have it delivered to work rather than home, This way you can enjoy looking at it rather than having to explain yourself and your ‘stupid addiction’!

Things can then be swapped out when her indoors isn’t in.

 

[venton]

There is a universal law of nature which states that things always happen at the most inconvenient moment.
Use this to your advantage.
For example, if you are waiting for an important phone call, leave phone in kitchen and get in the bath... it will ring.
If a bus isn't coming, go into the corner shop, it will come as you are waiting for your change.
If the traffic lights are stuck on red, get out and open the boot, they will go green.
And so on.

 

[ks.234]

https://www.theguardian.com/politic...teve-bell-on-david-camerons-resignation-video

Ahh, a dickhead! I see now.