Top 5 regrets of the dying...
- Thread starter seagullsnacker
- Start date
Joe Hutch
Mate of the bloke
Indeed; you'd need to be born equipped with the knowledge and experience of a lifetime to avoid making the same (sort of) mistakes again.
I have a few real regrets about things I did wrong, or should have avoided doing, or done differently, but I doubt anyone can say they've never done anything they've regretted.
I hear people talking about their mistakes and regrets sometimes and it always makes me realise that they don't really know themselves.
We make the decisions we do because of the circumstances that we find ourselves in at the time, and we make the best call that we can make. People kick themselves later on in life for getting it wrong as if they are talking about someone else, but it wasn't someone else, it was them. Firstly, I believe you have to respect the person that you used to be. Most of the time that we didn't just bugger off was because of kindness. That's not a flaw, that's a strength.
Secondly, if you had approached things in a different mindset, you wouldn't have been the person you became, and therefore wouldn't probably have met the people you've loved and who have loved you.
Sure, it's fine to have an epiphany and get your finger out to do things differently in the future, but regret is usually disregarding and negative. We should never forget how rich our lives have been and why we were sidetracked at the time.
We make the decisions we do because of the circumstances that we find ourselves in at the time, and we make the best call that we can make. People kick themselves later on in life for getting it wrong as if they are talking about someone else, but it wasn't someone else, it was them. Firstly, I believe you have to respect the person that you used to be. Most of the time that we didn't just bugger off was because of kindness. That's not a flaw, that's a strength.
Secondly, if you had approached things in a different mindset, you wouldn't have been the person you became, and therefore wouldn't probably have met the people you've loved and who have loved you.
Sure, it's fine to have an epiphany and get your finger out to do things differently in the future, but regret is usually disregarding and negative. We should never forget how rich our lives have been and why we were sidetracked at the time.
Marcus Garvey died as a result of two strokes after reading a negative premature obituary of himself.
my favourite
Frank Hayes, a jockey at Belmont Park, New York, died of a heart attack during the course of his first race. His mount finished first with his body still attached to the saddle, and he was only discovered to be dead when the horse's owner went to congratulate him
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths
my favourite
Frank Hayes, a jockey at Belmont Park, New York, died of a heart attack during the course of his first race. His mount finished first with his body still attached to the saddle, and he was only discovered to be dead when the horse's owner went to congratulate him
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths
russel
./_dazed_and_confused
cooky1257
pfm Member
Same here.
sorry this appealed to us! what making us smile We should stop reading these.
is the thought of walking past and just seeing poor old Arthur legs waving about
bit like someone falling through a ceiling . Sorry it appeals to my sense of our sence of humour, my apologies if Arthur was a relation of yours.
80 years old my goodness imagine he been in the royal Navy all his life been at see been through muck and bullets, four of his ships were torpedoed, survived them all. he wore proudly medals for bravery only to drown falling of a ladder into his water recycling bin head first and drown
Arthur Sexton, 80, drowned after falling off a step ladder and landing upside down in a water butt containing only a couple of feet of water.
Again from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths
is the thought of walking past and just seeing poor old Arthur legs waving about
bit like someone falling through a ceiling . Sorry it appeals to my sense of our sence of humour, my apologies if Arthur was a relation of yours.
80 years old my goodness imagine he been in the royal Navy all his life been at see been through muck and bullets, four of his ships were torpedoed, survived them all. he wore proudly medals for bravery only to drown falling of a ladder into his water recycling bin head first and drown
Arthur Sexton, 80, drowned after falling off a step ladder and landing upside down in a water butt containing only a couple of feet of water.
Again from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths
Mullardman
Moderately extreme...
This is not a joke.
My dear sister Pam passed away this morning at 11:30 after a long and astoundingly brave battle against COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder.) She was 64.
We all (especially Pam) knew this was coming but we obviously didn't know when and even an 'expected' death comes as a shock, so you will not be surprised to hear that I am feeling all the normal emotions. Otherwise, not much I can do but try to support others by phone until I go to Nottm.for the funeral.
The odd thing, and what prompted me to write this post (apart from my self acknowledged tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve) is that not much more than 12 hours after losing my own sister, I can laugh at some of the gags in this thread.
( Mick. 'I'm not bothered' Everybody else. 'Neither are we!' He feeds these lines on purpose for our entertainment. I just know it.)
Another thing is that Pam never expressed any regrets to me about anything, despite having a hard life, often battling illness.
It was only on Tuesday of this week that Pam, with the help of my lovely , but sometimes scatty niece, arranged and paid for her own funeral. She had spoken to me about it the previous week and I had said, I didn't think she needed to get bogged down in that stuff, but if it it gave her peace of mind, why not?
The thing is, my niece then came home and promptly posted on Facebook. 'Well, today I sorted my Mum's funeral out.' She then had to rapidly and red facedly backtrack as a flood of premature sympathy messages came in.
Sadly, today she had to post her message again. For real.
I'm convinced that Pam either knew her time was up, or was just tired of the fight. So, in a way, she went on her own terms, at a time of her choosing.
I allowed myself a bit of self admonition earlier today, beating myself up for not calling her since a week ago. I then reminded myself that we've spoken more in the last few years than we did in the previous 40, because we lived 100 miles apart, had our own lives and in lifestyle terms had little in common. Still, she was my loyal and thoughtful big sis and I will miss her.
I don't believe in the after life, but if I'm wrong, she will be looking down, giggling at my niece's Facebook 'gaff' and watching to see if my brother in law, according to her wishes, wears a suit for the second time in his life. She's OK now.
Please take this post for what it is and please don't clog the thread with a stream of sympathy messages. I already know that beyond the bullshit, fishies all have hearts.
Mull
Pic below.
http://www.pinkfishmedia.net/forum/showpost.php?p=664408&postcount=109
My dear sister Pam passed away this morning at 11:30 after a long and astoundingly brave battle against COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder.) She was 64.
We all (especially Pam) knew this was coming but we obviously didn't know when and even an 'expected' death comes as a shock, so you will not be surprised to hear that I am feeling all the normal emotions. Otherwise, not much I can do but try to support others by phone until I go to Nottm.for the funeral.
The odd thing, and what prompted me to write this post (apart from my self acknowledged tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve) is that not much more than 12 hours after losing my own sister, I can laugh at some of the gags in this thread.
( Mick. 'I'm not bothered' Everybody else. 'Neither are we!' He feeds these lines on purpose for our entertainment. I just know it.)
Another thing is that Pam never expressed any regrets to me about anything, despite having a hard life, often battling illness.
It was only on Tuesday of this week that Pam, with the help of my lovely , but sometimes scatty niece, arranged and paid for her own funeral. She had spoken to me about it the previous week and I had said, I didn't think she needed to get bogged down in that stuff, but if it it gave her peace of mind, why not?
The thing is, my niece then came home and promptly posted on Facebook. 'Well, today I sorted my Mum's funeral out.' She then had to rapidly and red facedly backtrack as a flood of premature sympathy messages came in.
Sadly, today she had to post her message again. For real.
I'm convinced that Pam either knew her time was up, or was just tired of the fight. So, in a way, she went on her own terms, at a time of her choosing.
I allowed myself a bit of self admonition earlier today, beating myself up for not calling her since a week ago. I then reminded myself that we've spoken more in the last few years than we did in the previous 40, because we lived 100 miles apart, had our own lives and in lifestyle terms had little in common. Still, she was my loyal and thoughtful big sis and I will miss her.
I don't believe in the after life, but if I'm wrong, she will be looking down, giggling at my niece's Facebook 'gaff' and watching to see if my brother in law, according to her wishes, wears a suit for the second time in his life. She's OK now.
Please take this post for what it is and please don't clog the thread with a stream of sympathy messages. I already know that beyond the bullshit, fishies all have hearts.
Mull
Pic below.
http://www.pinkfishmedia.net/forum/showpost.php?p=664408&postcount=109
Well....That shut everyone up, didn't it!
When you know someone is in the last few days and there is no way back it becomes...odd. There comes a point where you want it to end for the sake of everyone, because it's inevitable and it's coming any minute, but then you hate yourself for thinking that. That was me.
Not being closer? Beat yourself up and get it out and then forgive yourself and move on.
These things don't go away, but you do get used to them.
All the best Mull.
When you know someone is in the last few days and there is no way back it becomes...odd. There comes a point where you want it to end for the sake of everyone, because it's inevitable and it's coming any minute, but then you hate yourself for thinking that. That was me.
Not being closer? Beat yourself up and get it out and then forgive yourself and move on.
These things don't go away, but you do get used to them.
All the best Mull.
Mullardman
Moderately extreme...
Rasher,
Thank God somebody's posted!
And thanks for your sentiments.
I didn't want to kill the thread.
I've said my piece, so can we move on and get back to the jokes please?
One of the weirdest I heard was some bloke who really liked Apple pips.
Allegedly he saved all his pips until he'd got about a cup full and ate the lot in one sitting.
Unfortunately he was unaware ( as I'm sure we all are) that Apple pips contain a small amount of cyanide and his little binge gave him a big enough dose to kill him.
Thank God somebody's posted!
And thanks for your sentiments.
I didn't want to kill the thread.
I've said my piece, so can we move on and get back to the jokes please?
One of the weirdest I heard was some bloke who really liked Apple pips.
Allegedly he saved all his pips until he'd got about a cup full and ate the lot in one sitting.
Unfortunately he was unaware ( as I'm sure we all are) that Apple pips contain a small amount of cyanide and his little binge gave him a big enough dose to kill him.
cooky1257
pfm Member
I used to slightly know a guy that worked with a friend of mine. He must be now in his 60s.
He lived with his mother until she died, and he lives there still, in the same house, and he has lived there all his life.
He spent his whole life in the same job at the council.
He never had a relationship.
He has never ever eaten in a restaurant (didn't even go the the Christmas office party).
He has never been abroad, and in fact has never travelled further than Kent (next county to the east).
It would seem as far as I know that he has no regrets.
Is having no regrets a successful life if it amounts to having no ambition?
I suppose to him personally it must be so. Who is to say otherwise?
Maybe the key to inner peace is 'ambition management', not cramming everything in due to paranoia that you might have missed something.
Isn't it strange that you can see someone like that and feel sorry for them, and then later realise that he may have been the wisest man I have known.
He lived with his mother until she died, and he lives there still, in the same house, and he has lived there all his life.
He spent his whole life in the same job at the council.
He never had a relationship.
He has never ever eaten in a restaurant (didn't even go the the Christmas office party).
He has never been abroad, and in fact has never travelled further than Kent (next county to the east).
It would seem as far as I know that he has no regrets.
Is having no regrets a successful life if it amounts to having no ambition?
I suppose to him personally it must be so. Who is to say otherwise?
Maybe the key to inner peace is 'ambition management', not cramming everything in due to paranoia that you might have missed something.
Isn't it strange that you can see someone like that and feel sorry for them, and then later realise that he may have been the wisest man I have known.
I bet his hobby was discussing mains cable on pfm
Ambition is much over rated - there may be many paths, but only one destination, from this side at least.
To the second point, for all the bravado of the modern lifestyle, there are many people that I've met who seem to have great peace and who have apprently never pursued anything, but have remained close to their geographic, social and familial roots. Good for them is my usual view these days. There is enough dislocation in this world without deliberately seeking it.
Mike
That's a good point IMO. The more you learn, the more potential there is for not achieving all you feel like you should. Or something.
I find it hard to believe anyone can have no regrets unless they have memory problems, but as long as the positive out-weighs the negative then things are probably OK.
Let's all have a group hug.