advertisement


Thanatophobia - Fear of death or dying

I don’t get panic attacks as described, but I am experiencing more frequent periods of feeling down. Usually only lasts a few hours, but I hate the feeling!

Sometimes it is related to thoughts of mortality (more so about family and friends than myself). But more often my trigger is something else (e.g., the never-ending pandemic, racism, misogyny, right wing idiots, and so on).

I hate feeling pessimistic, and I do not want to become just another angry old man who can only see what’s ugly and wrong in the world.

It has gotten to the point where I no can longer ingest a steady, daily diet of political news and opinion. But I know how important it is to remain informed, so I am trying to figure out how to do so without becoming obsessed and upset. Will keep working on it, but no clue if I’ll ever be successful.

I was getting down and angry with politics, so recently unfollowed everything political on Facebook, and avoid political threads on pinkish.
I thought I could have some influence on people's thoughts by posting lots of anti-tory / pro labour stuff on Facebook, but all it did was make me less popular.
 
Tis coming to each and every one of us, can't do owt about it, accept get a grip.

I know this is going to surprise some people, but one thing that has helped a bit is to try and make myself realise that I have no control of the situation. What will be, will be.
 
Sociopaths never worry that much so it wouldn’t concern you.

On YouTube, I watched a few interviews of a woman who admits she is a psychopath. She said it was a blessing because all her friends at school were constantly worried about stuff, but she didn't care. Wouldn't it be great to be like that.
One thing that did confuse me though. If she doesn't worry about anything, how could she understand the feeling of worry?

 
I remember learning in school the Houseman poem that says:

Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.


When I was 3 months short of 70, I modified it:

Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Only point two-five remain,
Of seventy springs just this one's left,
I may of life be soon bereft!


Anyway, four years later, I'm still here, and I wake up every morning and think, "Gosh! I'm still here! How nice!" As some philosopher said, the only thing to do between birth and death is to enjoy the interval in between. This I am determined to do, be the interval long or short. As Joseph Heller said in Catch 22, I am going to live forever or die in the attempt.
 
Thought this was going to be concerned with a fear of Margate, Broadstairs and Ramsgate until I took a peek...
nothing irrational about being afraid of Thanet ;)
imagine the *utter* horror of dying in Thanet.

Priceless! As one who lived in Ramsgate for 20 years and taught throughout Thanet for 26, this is both poignant, amusing and a curate's egg (good in parts). It ain't all bad, y'know (Margate excepted, possibly). There's an area between R'gate and Broadstairs called Dumpton; says it all, really.
 
On YouTube, I watched a few interviews of a woman who admits she is a psychopath. She said it was a blessing because all her friends at school were constantly worried about stuff, but she didn't care. Wouldn't it be great to be like that.
One thing that did confuse me though. If she doesn't worry about anything, how could she understand the feeling of worry?

A close friend and work colleague once told me I was a psychopath. The circumstances were such that I couldn't be sure if it was intended as a joke or not. I remember being quite disturbed about it at the time, and the incident which gave rise to it, and I've often worried about it since. Does this mean I'm not a psychopath, otherwise I wouldn't be bothered would I? The incident occurred over 40 years ago.
 
A close friend and work colleague once told me I was a psychopath. The circumstances were such that I couldn't be sure if it was intended as a joke or not. I remember being quite disturbed about it at the time, and the incident which gave rise to it, and I've often worried about it since. Does this mean I'm not a psychopath, otherwise I wouldn't be bothered would I? The incident occurred over 40 years ago.

If you were/are worried about it, I'm pretty sure that proves you are not a psychopath.
 
I remember learning in school the Houseman poem that says:

Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.

I mainly know Housman's poems via parodies, such as the one which begins:

'What, still alive at twenty-two
A fine, upstanding lad like you?'
 
A psychopath doesn’t need to experience emotions, but can observe them and their effects and use them to his/her advantage. It’s quite an unfair advantage and no accident they often end up in positions of influence.
 
Good on you for being brave enough to start this thread @Fatmarley

If it is something you feel comfortable doing perhaps examine your thoughts on what occurs at and after death? Or put another way, do you believe that this life is it and after that, nothing, oblivion?

You may find some material purporting to talk of eternal life, your soul, reincarnation and the like of benefit. FWIW I have, but horses for courses and all that. And I see your user info says agnostic, so please don't take this as me trying to influence you, just a friendly suggestion.
 
I know this is going to surprise some people, but one thing that has helped a bit is to try and make myself realise that I have no control of the situation. What will be, will be.

One of my favorite sayings is the serenity prayer (I'm agnostic, so there's no spiritual meaning to me):

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference."

I think this is similar to the thoughts you're expressing.
 
Interesting poem here about fear of death, which I must say I don't suffer from, on the contrary. I see death as a release, or rather a relief, not totally welcome but also not totally unwelcome. If it happened to me tomorrow -- fine.

I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what’s really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
—The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused—nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel,
not seeing
That this is what we fear—no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can’t escape,
Yet can’t accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.
 
Good on you for being brave enough to start this thread @Fatmarley

If it is something you feel comfortable doing perhaps examine your thoughts on what occurs at and after death? Or put another way, do you believe that this life is it and after that, nothing, oblivion?

You may find some material purporting to talk of eternal life, your soul, reincarnation and the like of benefit. FWIW I have, but horses for courses and all that. And I see your user info says agnostic, so please don't take this as me trying to influence you, just a friendly suggestion.

Thank you. I did wonder if I'd made a mistake starting this thread after reading post #47.

It's not actually the death part that worries me. It's the dying part - but I'm sure in the back of my mind, the thought of there being nothing after death isn't helping. I did think yesterday that I should maybe consider taking up religion.
 


advertisement


Back
Top