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Anyone disowned a parent?

How about disowning your religion? I see a lot of parallels, that poem of Larkin’s and many of the comments above could apply to the Catholic Church as far as I’m concerned. Unfortunately my mother introduced me to that particular misery but no hard feelings, I think she realised eventually what a problem it was for me.
 
My Sister in Law, though not my brother, became a Joho and insisted the kids (my two nephews) were brought up as, complete with all the house to house stomping and such. Since they have grown up they have both basically told her to poke it - hasn`t caused a rift in any other way though.
 
Bart said:
about disowning your religion?
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not really disowning it, but more not engaging or believing in it, despite all around me trying their hardest to get me to believe and engage.

The house rules, set on the grounds of religion based morals, caused me to leave home at 17.

To this day I have no engagement with religious belief and ceremony. My parents have, to their credit largely accepted this from when I entered adulthood.
 
Spent last half hour reading this thread.... PFM at it's best, although some comments perhaps best overlooked given the sensitive nature.

I disowned my father, largely - not totally - but enough that contact was at best minimal, often long periods of nothing. I left home at 16, as I couldn't handle the fact he was a serial womaniser, my mother being constantly upset, her regular "falls" and broken noses/arms and such like, and the beatings I got for my behaviour. I was no model child (or a model adult for that matter), but the fear of being caned at school, and then going home to be belted by my father deeply affected my teenage years. I was forecast 9 Grade A 'O' levels but I royally messed it up and left home at 16 with the clothes I had on...

My relationship with him was better when I didn't live there, but there was little healing. My mother finally kicked him out when I was 22 and he was shacked up with some random woman in a bedsit when he died suddenly of a heart attack. I have had huge guilt issues in the last 30 years that we didnt at least "try" to make amends, listen, learn, communicate. It just happened and that's that.

Never really put down in words any of this, not sure why now. Anyway, there we are.
 
badger748 said:
Spent last half hour reading this thread.... PFM at it's best, although some comments perhaps best overlooked given the sensitive nature.

I disowned my father, largely - not totally - but enough that contact was at best minimal, often long periods of nothing. I left home at 16, as I couldn't handle the fact he was a serial womaniser, my mother being constantly upset, her regular "falls" and broken noses/arms and such like, and the beatings I got for my behaviour. I was no model child (or a model adult for that matter), but the fear of being caned at school, and then going home to be belted by my father deeply affected my teenage years. I was forecast 9 Grade A 'O' levels but I royally messed it up and left home at 16 with the clothes I had on...

My relationship with him was better when I didn't live there, but there was little healing. My mother finally kicked him out when I was 22 and he was shacked up with some random woman in a bedsit when he died suddenly of a heart attack. I have had huge guilt issues in the last 30 years that we didnt at least "try" to make amends, listen, learn, communicate. It just happened and that's that.

Never really put down in words any of this, not sure why now. Anyway, there we are.
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Probably helped just writing that out on a forum rather than just thinking it, I get the feelings of guilt but then rationalise/mull things over and they go away, our home life is better as it is now, with no contact
 
graystoke4 said:
you know my mum died yesterday, i could not have a day without her, we had our arguments surly, manly when i was young, you only have two parents, mine now both gone, and missed so much, you can always sort these things out, god bless
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condolences, I am sorry to hear that.

My wife lost her mother last year, and whilst they weren't estranged, they were in constant conflict and had limited contact. My wife respects her mum, and loved her, but doesn't miss her. The mental wellbeing of my wife has improved since her mum passed.
 
there is nothing that can't be worked out, give a little take a little,

i feel so sad for people on this thread, unless you have an abusive parent, it always can be resolved ,,
and i really feel, if you had an abusive parent when you get older, beat the shit out of them ,,show them what its like to be bullied,
 
graystoke4 said:
you know my mum died yesterday, i could not have a day without her, we had our arguments surly, manly when i was young, you only have two parents, mine now both gone, and missed so much, you can always sort these things out, god bless
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Sorry to read this, it must be difficult to post such a thing at a difficult time. My condolences.
 
graystoke4 said:
you know my mum died yesterday, i could not have a day without her, we had our arguments surly, manly when i was young, you only have two parents, mine now both gone, and missed so much, you can always sort these things out, god bless
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I wish you well. In your mind they’ll always be there for you, that’s the only consolation possible.
 
I think this thread has really hit the nail on the head. I may not agree with everything that has been said but I am aware that people have taken the time to share their own personal experiences, some of which have obviously left a lasting impression. It’s never easy to discuss things that make us who we are. I would like to thank those people for sharing.
 
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