There's something about the retro bikes I just can't be doing with... the ersatz "fake authenticity", "hipster trendy" for one way of starting to describe it... They are kind of "hairdressers" bikes if you know what I mean... like fake 1950's coffee machines in hipster apartments.
I know I know... they are very popular and fulfilling a desire for many people to have something that at least looks rather like an old Triumph, Norton etc but without the vintage classic price tag and with much better reliability.
I'll be showing my age, and some PC type may accuse me of toxic masculinity or some such nonsense.... BUT bikes are for "real men" who want the fastest baddest machine, do their own maintenance and reset the points with a rizla paper and all that... or if into vintage they know every whitworth thread size and laugh at little inconveniences like a carburettor falling off or a conrod flying past their lug 'ole.. They are "Ogri"!!
The retro's seem to "denature", "neuter", "sanitise" motorcycling into some pre packaged environmental and heath and safety approved "motorbike experience" for the beard balm user who has spent nearly as much on the "authentic" hand made designer leather jacket as they did on the bike! And would
never go out in the rain!
I'll get my coat