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On The Balls Review of Morrissey's new album in The Quietus

jackbarron

jackbarron

Chelsea, London
The new Morrissey album is called Low In High School. Mr Agreeable does a very reasonable review of it in The Quietus:
http://thequietus.com/articles/23584-morrissey-mr-agreeable-low-in-high-school-album-review

The review is so finely detailed, it is difficult to pick out the best insights. This one isn't bad though:

"To say this is a f***ing dog's arse of an album is a f***ing insult to dogs’ arses! Put it this way, if you were to take a small needle and rotate it for 40 odd minutes at 33 1/3 rpm around the interior of a dog’s arse, the pained howls that would result would be infinitely preferable to the the f***ing bleating bill of fare on offer here ...

"No one will hear your message Morrissey because the world needs another album from you like it needs a boil on the f***ing penis tip!"

Jack
 
That is hilarious. Reminiscent of reviews for Spinal Tap's Shark Sandwich.
 
What a great start to the morning reading that.

I nearly choked laughing at the line 'Jesus, the c***’s got about as much sense of f***ing lyrical rhythm and meter as a f***ing goat with a coal scuttle tied to its f***ing hind leg, hasn’t he?'

Excellent.
 
His 2016 review has its moments:

...the f***ing tenth hand, caterwauling crock of unmitigated f***ing cock that is Rag’n’Bone Man! Christ’s f***ing ****sock, this c*** was Brits Critics’ Choice Award? What was the other f***ing choice, a bucketful of piglets squealing as they drowned in their own f***ing blood? We need another fat white, gravelly twat with a beard vomiting f***ing sincerity on us from a f***ing great height like we need a f***ing nuclear winter, you f***faced lump of f***!
 
Looking at this objectively, the referenced Quietus review would work equally well as a response to the majority of jackbarron's posts on pink fish media.
 
irons1965 said:
Jesus, the c***’s got about as much sense of f***ing lyrical rhythm and meter as a f***ing goat with a coal scuttle tied to its f***ing hind leg, hasn’t he?'
Click to expand...

I've been saying this for years. The lyrical rhythm and 'scan' of his post-Smith songs has generally been awful with the exception of You Are The Quarry and Vauxhall And I. Those are great albums throughout, which is pretty strange. The songwriting on them is completely different ie not utterly incompetent. Perhaps an indication that he had some help?
 
You can say what you like about Morrissey's recent work but the fact remains his worst will always be better than most people's best.

Nobody can accuse him of selling out, or not speaking his mind. If you don't like what he says, you've got plenty of alternatives.

Ded Sheeran anybody?
 
Well I think the album is excellent, and his best since YATQ. You also have to admire his balls for his political comments. Police attacking our free speech in Venezuela one minute, defending Israel the next. Whether you agree with him or not, I don't know of anyone in music at the moment who dares lean to the right of centre, even by a millimetre.

I'd assumed his unwillingness to scan properly was deliberate btw, especially when a more pleasing option is often just as easy as the clumsy one he chooses.
 
Colonel_Mad said:
I've been saying this for years. The lyrical rhythm and 'scan' of his post-Smith songs has generally been awful with the exception of You Are The Quarry and Vauxhall And I. Those are great albums throughout, which is pretty strange. The songwriting on them is completely different ie not utterly incompetent. Perhaps an indication that he had some help?
Click to expand...

Yeah can only agree there re: Vauxhall especially.

Just for the record I'm not a fan of Ed Sheeran btw.
 
As someone who loved The Smiths I have a problem reconciling that with what an arsehole Morrissey turned out to be later in life. I’ve never had any time for his solo work, I just don’t get on with it, but good grief the man really is a bell-end.
 
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