The Children Poll

[SteveG]

Despite the acquisition of a very fine hifi I found the lifestyle very shallow and lacking in meaning.

Get a dog.

 

[Cav]

Why is choosing not to have children a bad thing, Colin, other than they have chosen a lifestyle different from yours?

 

[gassor]

I'm reminded of the rather studious Scots minister who had a large family and attended a parish celebration sometime in the early 20th C. He was walking around meeting his parishioners and found a young girl aged about 5 or 6. Not a sociable character he nevertheless took time to ask the girl whose family she belonged to. "Why your family papa" came the reply.

 

[lazycat]

Joe,

As it happens I have effectively lived both lives. Married, kids grown up, divorce. Lived 3 years abroad with plenty of money and freedom. Despite the acquisition of a very fine hifi I found the lifestyle very shallow and lacking in meaning.

I’ve known a few people who chose not to have kids and most of them have been very “self-focussed” and not in a good way.

I think that speaks more about the kind of people you've mixed with. I've never found my lifestyle shallow or lacking in meaning. But I've looked after people for a career for most of my life, rather than focus on 'status' and acquistion.

 

[Colin L]

Why is choosing not to have children a bad thing, Colin, other than they have chosen a lifestyle different from yours?

I don’t think I said it was a bad thing

 

[Colin L]

I think that speaks more about the kind of people you've mixed with. I've never found my lifestyle shallow or lacking in meaning. But I've looked after people for a career for most of my life, rather than focus on 'status' and acquistion.

Congratulations. We are all different, thankfully.

 

[Colin L]

Get a dog.

I’ve had dogs, and fine friends they are too, but not as good as kids though often better behaved.

 

[SteveG]

I’ve had dogs, and fine friends they are too, but not as good as kids though often better behaved.

My kids are older now (27 and 23) and I still very much enjoy spending time with them, however these days I structure my life so I get plenty of quality time with my dog - in fact I'm tempted to retire again, now we have him.

 

[Colin L]

I’ve promised myself a dog when I retire. Had Weimaraners, Labs and mongrels In the past. An “Eddie”, wire-haired JR is the plan.

 

[SteveG]

I’ve promised myself a dog when I retire. Had Weimaraners, Labs and mongrels In the past. An “Eddie”, wire-haired JR is the plan.

Nice. I like Jack Russell's and could see me getting one (or a little spaniel) when I'm a bit older, however I'm still just about able to keep up with out Labrador/Golden Retriever cross at the moment!

 

[Cav]

I don’t think I said it was a bad thing

"I’ve known a few people who chose not to have kids and most of them have been very “self-focussed” and not in a good way"#60

 

[Bob McC]

And in my experience they are always bloody experts on child rearing.

 

[Ibbots]

And in my experience they are always bloody experts on child rearing.

Then they are welcome round here, I'm rubbish at it.

 

[Colin L]

"I’ve known a few people who chose not to have kids and most of them have been very “self-focussed” and not in a good way"#60

That is not saying that choosing not to have kids is a bad thing. Merely a comment on some people I have known who chose not to.

 

[Lee T]

I don't feel we fully understand what life is all about until we have kids.

Game changer.

You grow up fast & experience all the benefits.

 

[Rug Doc]

4 kids under 8 here.

My story is in two parts..

We wanted a child and tried for six years and my poor wife had seven miscarriages. She was devastated and reached the point of giving up.

We were about to start anther round of IVF Then one holiday she fell pregnant and with the prescribed blood thinning heparin injections every day we had a beautiful daughter months later. One turned into a pigeon pair with a boy and a girl, then two more girls followed.

I love them all so much, I had a lonely childhood with just mum and we moved a lot, so for me to be able to give three sisters and a brother a loving family and the feeling of security is just magical.

Stopping at four though. Must go to the docs..!

Respect to those that have adopted and fostered, my hat is doffed... Also respect to those that decided against kids, totally get it! They are life changing, but I can’t honestly think of a negative that I’m honestly concerned about.

My wife is at Wembley watching the Manics and JBJ tonight so I’ve had all 4 all day..... wandering around, other parents look at you as if you’re slightly mad...

“Wibble”

 

[Lee T]

One of my life long friends felt similar to Tony. I remember him coming round all panicked & depressed on the announcement of his first child. He too needed his space to breathe & enjoy life. He now has 4, all grown up & doing fine, so is he.

I feel people have missed out on a huge chunk of living if they chose not to have kids but I appreciate that it's a decision that should not be taken lightly & fully grasp why some feel it's not for them.

 

[Joe Hutch]

I certainly don't judge anyone by whether or not they have children. Having children is a massive commitment for anyone to make (especially the mother) and not one to be undertaken lightly or to fulfil some biological imperative.

 

[Lee T]

Having kids is not always a good thing of course. If dear Stanley had kept his zipper shut at the vital moment we wouldn't be facing a future with Boris as PM

 

[Lee T]

Of course there are many who choose not to conceive based purely for financial reasons. Hate to get political on this thread but it is an unfortunate truth.

Some of us have the means to choose & act, others simply cannot afford it or live in a situation where raising kids is not an option, which is very sad.