update/ruin a classic lyric

[kasperhauser]

I'll start:

"Rikki, don't lose that number
You don't wanna text nobody else
Send it off in an email to yourself..."

 

[Big Tabs]

“God Save Mr. Bean,
And his tasty Tagine,
He may be a moron,
A potential C-bomb…”

 

[Big Tabs]

“Ra Ra Rasputin, lather up the Russian Queen…”

 

[robs]

"So, you've been to school for a year or two
And you know you've seen it all
....
Playing ethnicky jazz to parade your snazz
On your five-grand stereo
....
It's time to taste what you most fear
Right Guard will not help you here
Brace yourself, my dear
Brace yourself, my dear
It's a holiday in Blackpool
It's tough, kid, but it's life
It's a holiday in Blackpool
Don't forget to pack a wife"

[a few lines deleted for various reasons.. ;-) ]

 

[robs]

"I got a letter from the government the other day
I opened and read it... it said they were suckers
They wanted me for their army or whatever
Picture me given’ a damn, I said OK."

This thread could be fun...

 

[robs]

"Rock 'n' roll ain't noise pollution
Rock 'n' roll ain't gonna die
Rock 'n' roll ain't noise pollution
Rock 'n' roll it will survive (turn it down!)"

 

[Yank]

"So, you've been to school for a year or two
And you know you've seen it all
....
Playing ethnicky jazz to parade your snazz
On your five-grand stereo
....
It's time to taste what you most fear
Right Guard will not help you here
Brace yourself, my dear
Brace yourself, my dear
It's a holiday in Blackpool
It's tough, kid, but it's life
It's a holiday in Blackpool
Don't forget to pack a wife"

[a few lines deleted for various reasons.. ;-) ]

It's a holiday in Afghanistan
Where women dress in black
A holiday in Afghanistan
Where you'll kiss ass or crack

 

[robs]

"Yes, and how many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
And how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, and how many deaths will it take 'til he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is anyone's best guess,
The answer is fed us by the press."

 

[vince rocker]

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can't find a good word for you,
but I can...
BORIS.

 

[Marchbanks]

I bet you're wondering how I knew
'Bout your plans to make me blue
With some other guy you knew before
Between the two of us guys
You know I love you more
It took me by surprise, I must say
When I found out yesterday
Don't you know that
Someone posted it on Facebook, along with a picture of their lunch.

 

[robs]

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.

Had to look that one up!
Saw him once, many many moons ago..

 

[robs]

I bet you're wondering how I knew

LOL, nearly spat my whisky!

 

[robs]

"Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in climate change."

 

[robs]

"I was swimming in the Caribbean
Animals were hiding behind the rock
Except the little fish
Bump into me, swear he's
Tryin' a talk to me, say wait wait
Where is my iphone?"

 

[robs]

"I can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm tense and nervous, and I can't relax
I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire
Don't touch me or I'll have you for assault."

 

[Big Tabs]

“Shittin’ in the morning sun,
I'll be shittin' when the evening comes…
Watching the shits roll in,
Then I watch them roll away again, yeah

I'm shittin' on the dock of the bay,
watchin' the Loo-Roll roll away, ooh.

I'm just shittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time…”

(whistling bit )

Works best if sung out loud.

 

[Marchbanks]

I don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about the science books
Don't know much about the French I took
All I do know is I got A* grades in all of them.

I don't know much about geography
Don't know much trigonometry
Don't know much about algebra
Don't know what a slide rule is for
But I do know I start my degree course in Maths in a few weeks.

 

[foxwelljsly]

Lines form on my face and hands
Lines form from the ups and downs
I'm in the middle without any plans
I'm a boy and I'm a man

I'm eighty
And I don't know what I want
Eighty
I just don't know what I want
Eighty
I gotta get away
I gotta get out of this place
I'll go runnin' in outer space
Oh yeah

 

[deebster]

Move away
Move your body fa-a-a-r away
Until we-ee-ee-ee
Feel like we're really socially distanced

 

[foxwelljsly]

“Shittin’ in the morning sun,
I'll be shittin' when the evening comes…
Watching the shits roll in,
Then I watch them roll away again, yeah

I'm shittin' on the dock of the bay,
watchin' the Loo-Roll roll away, ooh.

I'm just shittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time…”

(whistling bit )

Works best if sung out loud.

"Shittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be shittin' here 'til the evenin' come
Watchin' my turds fall in
That I take 'em back out again

I'm shittin' off the dock of the bay
Watchin' my great big turds float away
Shittin' off the dock of the bay
Makin' a big stink

I ate some black eyed peas, Georgia
Oh and they makin' me feel so sad, yeah now
And everytime I have to use a bathroom
It hurts my rear end so bad, so bad"