A few minutes ago, I felt ready to try my first game against a human online at chess.com. My first game against a human opponent for decades. I was shaking so hard I could barely move my mouse. What have I got myself into... After a few moves; still shaking, but seem to be doing ok. Few more, still doing ok. steady, steady, don't mess up. focus..... few more moves, still ok, i seem to be ahead maybe. *shaking intensifies*. Few more moves and I'm pretty sure I'm winning.
We are both playing cautiously, not many piece swaps, but I'm advancing and pressuring. The clock (10 minute game) says we are about equal, with me a few seconds behind, over half our times used up and almost all the pieces still on the board. Will I run out of time? Is that a gap and a way in? I think so, but what if i'm wrong and I'm blundering all my pieces? *Intense shaking intensifies* but...... I win with a checkmate. yay and phew and wow. Thank you for the game maisyviolet, and thank you for being gentle with me, it was my first time=)
Analysis says I missed several earlier checkmates, and had 33% accuracy. I don't care. I won=)
I'm still shaking, but now I think it's adrenaline, not fear. For what it's worth my online elo jumped from 400 to 589. At that rate I'll be a GM by monday=) Except I'm too scared to try again now. Maybe after the buzz fades and the shaking stops. Time for a nice cuppa I think.