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Kids at uni - how did you help?

JTC

JTC

PFM Villager...
My eldest goes to uni later this year. I just signed as guarantor on his halls, not small change either. This got me to thinking, how did others structure the ways in which they supported their kids through uni or college?

My current plan was to simply cover all his costs, but then I wondered if that's teaching him the right lessons and/or instilling the benefits of frugality and budgeting. We're lucky we can do this but I don't want him to take us for granted. But - equally - I don't want to be mean about it. Presumably he qualifies for some sort of student loan, and up here his fees are covered by the government, so it's basically rent and living costs (and beer, don't forget about the beer....). He's minded to maybe get a lifeguarding job at a local pool up there, but I'm worried that that would be a distraction from studies, at least in his first year.

Beyond the money side, what other assistance would be useful? I'm always available for him to talk to, and we're not so far away that he can't come home on weekends etc. Just want to do the right thing, keep him safe, focused and supported without spoiling him too much....
 
I was a lecturer in an international popular music college in London and the students did a variety of jobs. Some didn't interfere too much while others took a big chunk out of the students' time. Since musicians frequently look for other work while starting out in the music business, this was just a realistic introduction to life as a self-employed person. The students regularly complained about the time they spent on jobs that were too demanding or boring, though they didn't so much mind jobs in hospitality where they met a variety of people. They wanted as little debt as possible, and didn't want to be paying it off for 10-20 years in their future lives. Quite a sane attitude. They weren't afraid to work.

There was quite a bit of aggro below the surface with the female singers. Those who came from rich families tended to bunch together and weren't liked for their sometimes ostentatious atmosphere of privilege. Nice clothes, no need to work. The poorer students bunched together in a tighter way and helped each other with job vacancies and depping for each other.

Universities these days are far too expensive. It's sometimes better to start as an apprentice and work your way up. Young people should start to question whether uni is automatically the right move. And also ask at length about where graduates end up and how many are supported into jobs. Placement in product design, for instance, is high. In creative design much lower.
 
I feel your pain mine is looking at warwick. We earn enough that he gets the lowest tier of support. He does have a job that is laptop based and hopefully that will continue, but I am buckling up for the ride.

Will I have to pay as guarantor did not even know about that.
 
I don't have children but I think my parents got it right. Back then there was a grant, for which I didn't fully qualify, they made up the full grant each term. After that I was on my own. I got summer jobs and did OK financially. Is there a current recommended amount?
In terms of other assistance, you'll have to find your own way. My parents were very much into tough love. I hated the place but they would hear none of it. "It's not a holiday camp. You're in it for a degree, do what's necessary." So I did. I served time for those 3 years, counted it down a term at a time, a week at a time, a day at a time. Did my time and got out. Cursed the place as I left and gave it 2 fingers. I went back once for the graduation, and even then only for my parents. I'm never, ever going back and I won't join any alumnus association if you put a gun to my head. So on balance I think my parents were a bit tough on me, but they were only doing what they thought best on the basis of limited information.
 
We've had 3 going through Uni in the last few years, 2 there currently. We encouraged ours to get jobs whilst in the 6th form to save a small ammount of money to help them, we've also provided financial help when necessary, throughout, but it hasn't been that much. Daughter #1 worked through the summer at a supermarket each year. Daughter #2 took a year out and worked full time, she's also worked part time for the same company throughought her degree. Son #2 only had 1 year away and has lived at home for 2nd and 3rd year, he hasn't enjoyed it and only did a degree because he didn't know what else to do. he works part time at a Spar Shop.

Cheers BB
 
We bought a house together and daughter rented it out to two other tenants, never did see a rent cheque for my 1%!

But then i don't think i paid for it either.

Apart from that she worked, mainly long shifts in hospitality so after normal hours and not much transport expense for the time.

Luckily i could employ her in the holidays and the business does very long hours in summer.

Suddenly realised last year that she hadn't paid off her student loan from c2005 and the payments were barely enough to cover interest so she cleared that. The student loan is a bit of a rip off.
 
1. If and when they get private digs house share you will notice the standard tenancy expect you to act as guarantor for all the tenants.
I refused point blank and had the clause changed to be guarantor my children only.

2. I made up the difference between the maintenance loan and the actual costs myself. They didn’t do paid work during term time but worked in the summer vacations.

3. We sent periodic food parcels to supplement the crap diet most students live on.

We paid for their MAs too as at the time there were no loans available.

All three did well, one is a commercial solicitor, one a director of a PR company and the third working in the education sector in the US.

I therefore expect them to pay for a top quality staring window for me in my dotage!
 
garyi said:
I feel your pain mine is looking at warwick. We earn enough that he gets the lowest tier of support. He does have a job that is laptop based and hopefully that will continue, but I am buckling up for the ride.

Will I have to pay as guarantor did not even know about that.
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If you are talking about halls, you don't have to sign as guarantor if you pay the year's rent up front!
 
myles said:
If you are talking about halls, you don't have to sign as guarantor if you pay the year's rent up front!
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I could but there's no incentive to pay up-front; instead, it's 9 or 10 monthly payments...
 
the sad thing is . in the past you could get a BTL mortgage for kids while at uni but now its illegal sadly . has to be a repayment mortgage which costs lot more
 
Sadly my son decided to go to Uni in London - it'd have been a lot cheaper if he'd have went to a Scottish Uni instead. We also lived in London at that point, although too far away for it to be commutable to his uni, but it dod mean he came to our house to get fed and get his washing done etc. on quite a few weekends. We also used to meet up about once a week in central London to go for a meal (my daughter was working in London for some of the time as well so it was nice to get us all together).

We paid for his accommodation etc. plus a set amount each month for other costs but he still managed to burn his way through a student loan as well. He did some work during holidays etc. but I wasn't too keen for him to work during term time.
 
Bob McC said:
1. If and when they get private digs house share you will notice the standard tenancy expect you to act as guarantor for all the tenants.
I refused point blank and had the clause changed to be guarantor my children only.

2. I made up the difference between the maintenance loan and the actual costs myself. They didn’t do paid work during term time but worked in the summer vacations.

3. We sent periodic food parcels to supplement the crap diet most students live on.
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We did very similar and had the same experience with house share guarantees and had to argue the toss with the landlord

We paid for both our kids housing as they got lowest tier of loan and we wanted them to be able to study and not get term time jobs. They both worked summers are were not flush but had enough to get by. We did send food care packages as well.
 
bigjonny said:
We paid for their accommodation, they lived on the bit of the student loan that wasn’t uni fees.
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Us too. Which for two kids with one going on to a Masters, was a shit load of cash. But they’re your kids so you’ll do anything for them won’t you?
 
garyi said:
Jesus! He wants the £200 a week ensuite, he can dream on lol.
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My son chose halls run by a third party 'landlord'. Ensuite at £160 PW. The rooms are all pokey but clean. I just need to impress on him that this time next year he will need a deposit and months rent down as he won't be in halls any more.
 
RobFTM said:
Us too. Which for two kids with one going on to a Masters, was a shit load of cash. But they’re your kids so you’ll do anything for them won’t you?
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Yes we’ve got 3 but one stayed at home and studied over in Liverpool, the 3rd started a Masters so we were covering that but he was diagnosed with Lymphoma so had to pack it in. Fully recovered now thank goodness and starting a job next week, “Clinic clerk apprenticeship” in the local hospital he was originally admitted to, we’ve told the others there’s £5k , which the masters cost us, waiting for them when they need it. We started savings for them all when they were 2 years old and passed that over when they went to uni.
 
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