advertisement


I think I love Sideshowbob

garyi

garyi

leave blank
Well I got a couple of burnt CDs through the post from ian. The press would have us believe I am now a pirate crunt and should be locked up as well as having my balls removed and slowly broiled with a few nice shallots and smoked garlic.

But heres the thing I got some music real run of the mill purchased from Amazon music yea.

Firstly I got some proper Faust and look forward to the delivery. But today I got round to the Neu!

Jesus and Christ himself, this stuff is beyond.

I remember waxing lyrical about Tortoise, and who ever it was tried to tell me about Neu! and I put them down, I apologise, I am also a crunt.

Thing is I find Kraftwork stuff just too corny, I also understand there are links between Kraftwork, Neu! And Faust.

What I am trying to say is I am interested, very interested, only I found Kraftwork Corny.

So let me in!
 
No, something terrible happend the other night, I thought I had deleted the album, but on the random Elton ****ing John popped up.

Out of 10,000 tunes what is the changes of that?

Well I know but you get my point.
 
I love you too Gary, although I was trying to keep it secret.

The great thing about Neu! is they only made 3 albums: Neu!, Neu! 2, Neu! '75. So just buy all of them and you'll be fully Neu-ed up, they all got a vinyl reissue a couple of years ago too.

On the principle of, If you like Neu!, you'll probably also like... you ought to try some La Dusseldorf too, and some Cluster.

-- Ian
 
Neu is like air. Its necessary for an organism to exist. I bought the vinyl reissues of 1 and 2 and don't care a hoot about the originals, life's too short the re-issues are great!

Kraftwerk is supposed to be corny. Camp Teutonic humour at its best. How can a concept album about driving on a Motorway be anything other than corny! I still love em though. Everything that I listen to even the most recent minimalist grit-click/drone stuff and the open circuit/deep dub 10-inchers goes back to Kraftwerk. Camp but really influential.

I think Can might be good for iGary as he is right now. "Monster Movie" is going for £6 on vinyl and is where it all begins. I rate Tago Mago as well... Try some Can next. Kraut at its finest.

Oh and have a look at the reviews on Julian Cope's Head Heritage reviews site if you have some spare time. Really very useful.

PS We all love SSB but never ever french kiss anyone who owns anything by Throbbing Gristle... you just don't know where that mouth has been!
 
I love SSB, too. Only soso on the Krautrock, though. Does that make me unfaithful?
 
Actually I think Gary should go for some Birtwistle next. Given the sort of music he's told us he likes he'd have to be mad not to love it. Not much like Neu admittedly, well actually nothing like it really, but hey...
 
On this basis I love Joel.

Assuming that the selfish gene uber-Darwinists are right, what survival characteristic is being enhanced in our offspring by lusting after someone because they have a nice record collection?

Some suggestions:-

a) Ability to provide - similar to the attraction of rich, powerful and yet fat and ugly blokes. If you've got a nice record collection - probably rich.

b) Taste, education, intellect - proof of ability of think way out of problems and protect offspring. If you are erudite enough to follow the evolution of the avant-garde through vinyl, then you are probably going to be able to build a better woolly mammoth trap.

c) Penis size. Anyone with more than five linear meters of vinyl must be covering up for a small penis. Hence less likely to have deformed uterus and better chance of both parents surviving childbirth and providing for offspring - ensuring correct level of nutrition and growth.

Hmmm. Evolutionary Biology. Too easy?

Jonathan
 
Unfortunately, Jonathan, you're thinking the wrong way round.

a) Ability to provide - a vinyl lover squanders his money on other things than food and shelter. Bad prospect.

b) Taste, education, intellect - people who frequent internet forums are genrally sad cases anyway, but when they frequent vinyl lover forums where they talk each other into spending even more money on other things than food and shelter, they are even worse prospects than ordinary vinyl lovers.

c) Penis size - agree about the significance of the 5 linear meters of records (I have about 6, I think), but a small penis is less able to give sperm a good start into the race towards the egg, so the sperm will find it harder and the chances for procreation are diminished.

That's why you will find that vinyl lovers turn into proto-homosexuals, only hanging out with each other, usually in record shops where they talk to each other to cover up their loneliness and have a semblance of a social life, sometimes even at so-called nerdathons. Of course, most of them are too timid to really come to grips with the sexual orientation their affliction forces onto them; they then have to sublimate their urges by buying even more records, the more exotic the better.
 
Whether they're straight or gay, everyone should have a record collection that's larger than their penis. With several thousand LPs and CDs, I'm reasonably close to achieving this objective, but there's still some way to go, at least a couple of feet.

-- Ian
 
Oh dear Markus.

I had thought I was a confirmed bachelor due to my intellect an education being able to overcome such base animal desires as reproduction and trivial physical attraction... ..concentrating on philosophy, music, literature, understanding the universe and the human condition etc.

So I'm a sad lonely sublimating weirdo with latent homosexual urges and a desires that involve PVC.

I think it is important to be self aware. :)

Jonathan X
 
This explains why women very rarely own any records at all...

The small minority who do have records are probably pre-op trannies.

-- Ian
 
You must log in or register to reply here.


advertisement


Back
Top