My only irritation is the feckless hoards that decide that sunshine = BBQ and turn over the local supermarkets for sausages, burgers and burger buns because their little minds cannot think beyond the obvious and typically British blandness. The more daring may even cremate some chicken that people will eye with suspicion, decide they don't want to spend the night calling the Ruth down the big white telephone, and just stick to a black hard disc in a bun instead. Then, if it's sunny the next day, it'll be the same at someone else's place.
The biggest crime is usually the soundtrack, which will be some suitably tabloid mainstream pop, usually involving Robbie Williams and the middle-aged women who have had too much Lambrini swaying with their arms in the air, not unlike the dilapidated garden shed to the side of the patio.
But after all, it's just people having fun and enjoying themselves, which is fair enough. Better that than people moaning about it being too hot.
The British are simple folk, and totally predictable in a rather endearing way.
Mercifully, the barbecue mania which struck our area for some years seems to have subsided somewhat. I find myself wondering whether it is related to a run of bad summers, or just the increase in deaths from smoke inhalation.
Noise is the one with me.
I grudgingly tolerate the occasional gathering in the back gardens of those who are normally civilised. After all, anyone is entitled to a bit of a shindig now and again.
What pisses me off is the family several doors down in the street which backs on to ours. They have kids who, to use a local expression, could 'whisper across three fields'. One in particular has a deep grunt of a voice and I'm convinced that if his brain was half the size of his gob he'd be a ****ing genius.
And now they've got a dog. I've never seen it, but I know they've got it because they keep shouting at the poor little sod. When they're not shouting at it, they're whistling it. Unless of course I'm mistaken and the screeching harpy matriarch of the family and just squeezed another one out and called it Sheba.
I just wish the whole ignorant tribe would shut the **** up for about ten seconds. Maybe then, the deafening silence around them might lead them to the conclusion that they are the only ones making any sodding noise.
All of the above of course is in addition to the general cacophony of jet washers, strimmers, mowers, car alarms, house alarms etc., which rages from morning till night.
It's a bloody good job I don't live in a rough area.
Mull