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Calling all psychologists: the "my gear is me" syndrome...

My regular dealer now has a certain item on dem after I bought one in preference to much more costly naim gear that I had been using for many years. Can work both ways.
 
To me there are can be various psychological traits in play driven by experience, lack of, where we get our security, associations that we consider positive or negative, bias, mood swings, intellectual curiosity or laziness, herd syndrome or perceived beating it, respect for another as an individual or dismissal of them without being open minded, many things I suspect.

As the OP suggest ideally we would visit each other to enjoy the company and the music with ‘2 ears and 1 mouth’ mentality to just enjoy the experience and conversation, learn in the process and have a mutual accord no matter what our equipment preferences or perhaps simply circumstances at that point in time.

I certainly don’t think it is confined to hifi but contaminates many areas of life. If you walk into different situations wearing a Timex, Seiko, Omega, Rolex, A. Lange & Sohne or Roger Smith as random examples I expect you will encounter any of the above from some folk whilst others won’t care.

Perhaps it all comes down to materialism and shallowness often at a subtle subliminal level rather than a genuine interest in the person.
 
I think nearly everyone on this forum is happy with the idea that there is more than one true path with amplifiers and turntables.
Cables is a different story.
 
The reason I'm interested in hearing opinions about HiFi systems and components on forums and occasionally attend shows boils down to whether I can possibly improve or get a better SQ from what I have or whether I need to change something, within the usual limits of course (price, room, compatibility, etc.).

Music is emotion and I strive to get as much as I can. It's completely subjective but you know when you're getting less or more.
 
adamdea said:
Mazel tov. But getting into such slanging matches constitutes quite a lot of what goes on around these parts, in one form or another.
Who are the people who have this "My gear is me" syndrome in the thread title? They must all be hiding.
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They're the people I mentioned in the post i.e. those that get upset and defensive when people criticise or dislike what they've bought as opposed to the more normal people that really don't care whether someone else criticises or dislikes what they have because it's only gear not them.
 
norliss said:
They're the people I mentioned in the post i.e. those that get upset and defensive when people criticise or dislike what they've bought as opposed to the more normal people that really don't care whether someone else criticises or dislikes what they have because it's only gear not them.
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There is an implicit criticism, to some degree. If I make a choice, and somebody else says they dislike my choice, that could be inferred to mean that somebody thinks I made a bad choice, so my judgement/taste is a bit suspect. I imagine that might be at the heart of why some people bridle a bit in these circumstances. Not me, obvs, my judgement and taste are impeccable ;) .
 
According to Buddhism there is no self......so there is no one who has ever made a choice, however it may feel or appear. There's simply life choosing.
 
If anyone said my current system was crap I would walk out of the door. I have used the same dealer for nearly 30 years, we get on well & I’ve never felt sold to. I always home demo any new purchases & you need to build a relationship to have that facility.
 
Woodface said:
If anyone said my current system was crap I would walk out of the door. I have used the same dealer for nearly 30 years, we get on well & I’ve never felt sold to. I always home demo any new purchases & you need to build a relationship to have that facility.
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Sure, but you're talking about dealers now and I'd say it would be bad form for a dealer to slag your system. I was on about a bod on a forum but even then not necessarily saying "it's crap" more just not liking it per se.
 
There's a hint of - well, not irony, let's call it 'coppery' - in starting a thread to discuss the shortcomings of others' contributions while simultaneously parading one's own sense of aloofness and maturity for all to admire... ;)

Social media, such as this, may exist for a huge variety of nominal reasons, but all of it is primarily ego-driven, and all anyone really wants to do is talk about themselves and how great they think they are.

It's almost infinitely tedious, or would be, if anyone took any notice of anyone else, but perfectly normal and quite understandable in our increasingly isolated modern societies.
 
norliss said:
Sure, but you're talking about dealers now and I'd say it would be bad form for a dealer to slag your system. I was on about a bod on a forum but even then not necessarily saying "it's crap" more just not liking it per se.
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I don't like the same behaviour on here either, I just ignore the main offenders. A few up thread have talked about bad attitude from dealers. On a wider note the key question is how good or otherwise does your system need to be for musical enjoyment? It's probably far less tan most have spent on here, including me.
 
Paul L said:
To me there are can be various psychological traits in play driven by experience, lack of, where we get our security, associations that we consider positive or negative, bias, mood swings, intellectual curiosity or laziness, herd syndrome or perceived beating it, respect for another as an individual or dismissal of them without being open minded, many things I suspect.

As the OP suggest ideally we would visit each other to enjoy the company and the music with ‘2 ears and 1 mouth’ mentality to just enjoy the experience and conversation, learn in the process and have a mutual accord no matter what our equipment preferences or perhaps simply circumstances at that point in time.

I certainly don’t think it is confined to hifi but contaminates many areas of life. If you walk into different situations wearing a Timex, Seiko, Omega, Rolex, A. Lange & Sohne or Roger Smith as random examples I expect you will encounter any of the above from some folk whilst others won’t care.

Perhaps it all comes down to materialism and shallowness often at a subtle subliminal level rather than a genuine interest in the person.
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Most people here are open minded in my experience, when it comes to HIFI and music at least. Those who aren’t make a lot of noise and stand out like a sore thumb to me… there are far more “noisy” types on the FB groups in my experience.

On the subject of visiting friends/forum members, I’ve been here a few years now and in that time I’ve visited a few members homes, and a few have visited me too… I’ve enjoyed everyone’s system that I’ve heard, most have been very different to my own and I enjoy hearing the variety of kit in real living spaces. I enjoy discovering new music too.
As the dangers of covid wane, I wholeheartedly recommend visits/meet-ups. As well as the above benefits, we get to know and understand other members as people too.
 
earlofsodbury said:
There's a hint of - well, not irony, let's call it 'coppery' - in starting a thread to discuss the shortcomings of others' contributions while simultaneously parading one's own sense of aloofness and maturity for all to admire... ;)

Social media, such as this, may exist for a huge variety of nominal reasons, but all of it is primarily ego-driven, and all anyone really wants to do is talk about themselves and how great they think they are.

It's almost infinitely tedious, or would be, if anyone took any notice of anyone else, but perfectly normal and quite understandable in our increasingly isolated modern societies.
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I love irony, bronzy, goldie and coppery!

Btw, would you consider this (or any forum) social media? I suppose it is in essence albeit I've always considered forums like this to be more in the spirit of the old newsgroups/ messageboards than something like Zuckerbook/ Twitter et al.
 
mr sneff said:
According to Buddhism there is no self......so there is no one who has ever made a choice, however it may feel or appear. There's simply life choosing.
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Not quite true
Once the ultimate level is reached, there is oneness, and a self that is perfect, but, that self is no longer important.
 
linnfomaniac83 said:
Most people here are open minded in my experience, when it comes to HIFI and music at least. Those who aren’t make a lot of noise and stand out like a sore thumb to me… there are far more “noisy” types on the FB groups in my experience.

On the subject of visiting friends/forum members, I’ve been here a few years now and in that time I’ve visited a few members homes, and a few have visited me too… I’ve enjoyed everyone’s system that I’ve heard, most have been very different to my own and I enjoy hearing the variety of kit in real living spaces. I enjoy discovering new music too.
As the dangers of covid wane, I wholeheartedly recommend visits/meet-ups. As well as the above benefits, we get to know and understand other members as people too.
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To my mind the whole online community thing is about learning and sharing information. If you asked me to define the purpose of this site that is it in a sentence. Some rooms work far better than others, DIY, classic, photo and the music room being the high-watermarks IMHO. I’m 45+ years into this hobby and I like to think I’m just about bright enough to grasp just how little I know, though I’ll always take pictures and try and document what I’ve learned along the way in the hope it helps get information out there for others. I’ve certainly no time for ego crusaders etc, I just don’t understand that mentality. I agree the social side is a very valid part too. Lots to learn from hearing alternative approaches, new music etc.
 
Sue Pertwee-Tyr said:
There is an implicit criticism, to some degree. If I make a choice, and somebody else says they dislike my choice, that could be inferred to mean that somebody thinks I made a bad choice, so my judgement/taste is a bit suspect. I imagine that might be at the heart of why some people bridle a bit in these circumstances. Not me, obvs, my judgement and taste are impeccable ;) .
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Constructive criticism can be helpful - if given and received with explanation as to why something might be lacking or wrong. The receiver might disagree, of course, and that is their prerogative. I'm mindful we listen for and like different things.
 
norliss said:
Btw, would you consider this (or any forum) social media?
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Yes, FWIW, I absolutely would. Forums (and before them, message boards) got there first, but that's what they are - a form of social media that happens to be topic-constrained. They do differ in not being cryptically edited by algorithms to become a series of isolated echo-chambers, but then human nature tends to drift that way anyway. Interestingly, the best of them also have a lively IRL social scene, which is healthy IMO.
 
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