I am very sorry , but if my daughter when she grows up [ currently 11] told me that I would blame myself and her not the men involved . I may be being niave and over exagerating my parenting skills , as i have had girlfriends who have told me the same thing .
We need to separate here Rape as a criminal offence from sexual relations between young men and young women in 21 century Britain.
they are not the same thing . Many aspects of young peoples sexual relations are unsavory , dysfunctional , pathetic and in some cases morally wrong , that does not make it rape .
I wasn't looking for any sympathy but I am not sure how I need to blame myself or her? Nor did i intend or will I to go into detail! This issue is about a man demanding/'persuading' someone have sex. In the two instances she felt it safer to say yes than deal with the alternative. If she felt that she could have said no and it would have been respected then she would have said no. I would consider what happened rape! She was very distraught about both instances. She has dealt with it, and frankly only just, by believing that by saying yes rather than no she was being pragmatic and saving herself from something worse. This was not a sexual relation she wanted! And it would never have happened if she felt safe saying no. The only person making her feel unsafe was a man.
And have i ever had a 'drunken shag'? No, never, ever. The idea of doing something you or someone else may regret in the morning is enough of a reason never to do such a thing. I simply cannot see how it should be otherwise if you have any respect for someone else or frankly for yourself.