Oh ok, have now read the story. Yep, complete non event. Piece of technology malfunctioned.
Should I call the Daily Smear with a headline of:
"shock horror, error whilst connecting to network in south London home".
Maybe the story would be:
"Disturbed IT work xxx was today shocked, horrified and deeply concerned when trying to connect to his favourite website. A temporary network error prevented immediate connection of Mr_Suk to the website "cos play girls go crazy ape bonkers with dodgy kids toys.
Mr_Suk is a regular follower of the website and protested that not being able to access could result in signifcant mental distress, and possible time away from his normal £3,000k per annum job.
A close neighbour to Mr_Suk commented how he'd heard nothing, never used the site and was making a cup of tea at the time of the incident. The neighbour opposite commented of having heard noises across the road, but that might have been the bin-men taking away the rubbish. The Daily Smear contacted Mr_Suks network provider bringing to bear his concerns about possible litigation. The SHAMEFUL network provider declined to comment and reminded our dedicated reporter that he'd actually called the Toilet Repair Services".