Silly things that amuse

[Sue Pertwee-Tyr]

By way of a little light relief, perhaps a thread for things that raised a smile. For example:

A friend of my brother has to attend a virtual speed awareness course.

It is being held on Zoom.

 

[PhilofCas]

Good thread!

Just happened recently at work, chap in the factory goes on a manual handling course, he pulled his back while doing the course! He’s now on the sick.

 

[gintonic]

Good thread!

Just happened recently at work, chap in the factory goes on a manual handling course, he pulled his back while doing the course! He’s now on the sick.

yep one of our technicians fell off the ladder (3 rungs luckily), on the ladder safety course

 

[Tony Lockhart]

Our health and safety manager at Stansted managed to electrocute all his pond fish when he turned the new pond lighting on, and badly knackered a leg when he fell off some step ladders at home.
And he was a knob.

 

[ks.234]

Our caretaker at school gave us all a health a safety course on how to climb step-
ladders. All a bit obvious and a bit of a waste of time, but one of those compulsory H&S things.

I went back to my classroom, climbed the step-ladder and then called the caretaker on my mobile from the top to tell him I was stuck because he hadn’t told us how to come down. He swore.

 

[Marchbanks]

I rang the police to report a wallet I had found in the street. The switchboard operator connected me to an officer who in turn told me I had been put through to the wrong extension. ‘I’m afraid you are going to have to hang up and start all over again’ he said ‘as I haven’t got a clue how to transfer you.’ I asked which section he was in. ‘Intelligence’ he replied.

 

[PhilofCas]

yep one of our technicians fell off the ladder (3 rungs luckily), on the ladder safety course

 

[gary1064]

Pack of lightbulbs in B&M for £5, or special offer 2 for £10.

 

[Big Tabs]

When I was a training for my Nursing qualification, I arrived on a new placement, a Childrens medical ward. I had only been on the ward for 5 minutes when a Senior Staff Nurse rushed up to me all flustered and asked me to run to the next ward and get some ‘diabetic soap’ as there was an emergency…


How they laughed.

On another surgical ward I got sent off in similar circumstances for a ‘long stand.’

 

[paulfromcamden]

On another surgical ward I got sent off in similar circumstances for a ‘long stand.’

Me too but thankfully only for a 'short stand'.. : )

 

[Big Tabs]

Me too but thankfully only for a 'short stand'.. : )

We used a lot of ‘drip stands’ so I was easily suckered.

Great value gag as both wards staff get to have a laugh at the naive student.

 

[gintonic]

went looking for left handed paint brush, and sent to Screwfix for sky hooks.

Once when was working at a big sports shop on Oxford Street in the greatest London, I was entrusted to the instore tannoy system - I received an internal call, to page "Mike Hunt to the stockroom" - which I duly did, it took about 5 seconds for the penny to drop.........I was never allowed on the tannoy again....

 

[Weekender]

https://www.facebook.com/1000576985...gaNkq6z4UVSTCBvL8t9ncMXVebe85z2TNveUTB2mCQVl/

 

[Seeker_UK]

Me too but thankfully only for a 'short stand'.. : )

Tartan paint was another favourite.

 

[matt j]

When at Toyota I called maintenance over as there was a strip light out over my station, when he turned up he just shrugged and said he'd not been on the ladder course so couldn't do anything, I asked him what was more dangerous him falling off a ladder or me tripping over and landing in the press? Blank stares all round.

 

[Tony Lockhart]

Sweeping the glide-path, boring-stand, metric adjustable, long weight, go and get some blank forms from Scott Chegg…

 

[Seeker_UK]

Sparks for the grinder, and don't forget the wet paper bag to put them in.

 

[Jamie]

Sparks for the grinder, and don't forget the wet paper bag to put them in.

Not forgetting new spots for the spotwelder, that we sent someone for many years ago.

 

[Bodiddly]

One sunny day this summer I was dozing by a lake when my peace was disturbed by a screeching child. When I looked to see what the problem was, it turned out he was soaking wet, from head to foot. His mother was further along the bank and shouted to ask what the noise was all about. The lad shouted back to say he had fallen in the water. Mother in response shouted 'what water?'

 

[kendo]

A tin of spark (for ignition failure)
A bucket of steam...

...and my own invention - the digital hammer - only to be used ON Windows based devices for that gratifying one-sided exchange of kinetic energy.