Dear Mr Puppy
Here at Yumyum Microwaveable Pouches we endeavour to give our customers a fulfilling gastro-experience. Our quality control has been certified as ‘excellent’ and can usually be relied upon to filter out most small creatures. However, we are sorry to hear that on this occasion you feel it has not proved satisfactory. Please be assured that we are determined to reach out to our customers and have already taken on board your concerns. We hope that you will continue to enjoy the full Yumyum range - more succulent pouches are added to it regularly, so be sure to check at your local supermarket, corner shop or service station!
If you wish to contact us again, please call the Yumyum hotline (calls cost £2.50 per minute) where you will be able to refresh your acquaintance with Kenny G’s greatest hit.
Sincerely
Yumyum.