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Phone Scams

I got a call today from a Canada–US border agent, claiming I had committed a flatulent act.

I've been working from home since March 2020 because of the pandemic. Jeez, if you can't commit a flatulent act in your own home where can you?

Joe

Joe, isn’t this is how the Canadian-American War started?

 
I got a call today from a Canada–US border agent, claiming I had committed a flatulent act.
The Windy City?
Your mistake was being near the border. You thereby contravened the Farting Localised Adjacent To the United States (FLATUS) Act.

The flatulence would be Superior to the Windy City if near the border, or it could have been further east, which is quite Erie. They may have mistaken you for your father executing a windy pop. To pass wind near the border, you ideally need a wind pass or just settle for a Buffalo belch.
 
I just got that call again but this time I apparently committed a fraudulent act at the Canada–US border. Although not explicitly stated, an intercepted shipment of illicit drugs sent using Canada Post was implied.

Accused me of being drug lord and gassy. Well, I never!

Joe
 
P.S. Not that I did what I had been accused of*, but if I had I would have put a Wayne's World / Dr. Evil stamp on the illicit package.

mike-myers-canada-stamp.jpg


Nothing says this package is A-OK like Dr. Evil postage does.

Joe

* OK, I'll admit to the flatulent act, but not to being a drug lord.
 
I just got that call again but this time I apparently committed a fraudulent act at the Canada–US border. Although not explicitly stated, an intercepted shipment of illicit drugs sent using Canada Post was implied.

Accused me of being drug lord and gassy. Well, I never!

Joe
I’m now imagining that scammer’s boss bawling him out and saying “You just ring that guy back tomorrow and this time, you better get the fraudulent act bit right, ok!”
 
I had a weird one on my mobile yesterday. It rang and on the other end was an irate woman demanding to know who I was, as she'd had a call from my number from someone pretending to be calling from a Government department (or something), and so she was threatening to call the police. So I told her that it was a private number and I most definitely had not called her, and to go ahead and contact the police if she wants as I didn't want my number to be linked with a dodgy phone scam. So I guess scammers can use some sort of software to manipulate the display of the number on the receiving line, in order to disguise their actual number. I did notice that the number of the angry woman was only 2 digits different from my own number.

Anyway, I hope it doesn't happen again.

That happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Received several texts and one call from different people asking why I had called. Very annoying for them and me.
 
Has any one had a phone call threatening to terminate their internet connection. I had one of these today , but I didnt wait for the ransom amount & hung up
Here they come in waves. Often a couple of weeks pass without this one, or any of a whole host of scam scenarios and then one or two a day for a while. It was one from "Amazon" yesterday and another "Amazon" today with a different story.

Hoping to get my number "blacklisted" I often try to be a real nuisance and waste the caller's time, by listening then asking a lot of relevant but very detailed questions which attempt to push them off-script. They are often very persistent but so am I. And it's often the case when they clearly know they are "rumbled" and there's nothing to be gained, that they try to insist that I hang up. I wonder if they get pay penalties for hanging up from their end, to make them persistent.

I do have to be careful. I had a small theft looked into by the local police. The officer called me a few times to give me updates. I did not expect this at first and I was very suspicious first time. But it was real.

Unfortunately the "time-waster" tactic has not yet succeeded. However I do occasionally manage to provoke abuse from the caller before I decide to resort myself to abusing the caller for knowingly engaging in fraud.
 
I just tell them I’m going to get the paperwork out…..and replace the handset after a few minutes. I assume spending time waiting for my return to the phone is pretty frowned upon with no sale no matter where they are calling from. This tends to put a stop to the calls until some b#&@*%d sells my number again.
If there’s no sound for a few seconds I just replace the handset.

Don’t engage with them, getting angry and abusive would no doubt be extremely funny to these rip off call centre operators, they may run a “nutter of the week”
award which no doubt raises a giggle between the operators which I’d rather not give them.
 
My cure for phone scams and phone marketing is simple

2 years ago I unpluged the phone and tossed it in the dustbin , No problems now , Anyone I want to speak with has my mobile number , If I get a number I don't recognise on the mobile I don't answer it.
 
Just had the Virgin one with an oriental voice telling me there is a problem with my router, etc.
Strung them along for a bit then got fed up and just gave them a few choice words and hung up.
 
It makes look back fondly of the Kirby vacuum cleaner and double glazing cold callers of the 80's & 90's....
 
I`ve just this minute had a fun one - an Indian sounding lady phoned about a hostile takeover of a company in which I had a very few shares many years ago - thing is it was taken over by another company at least seven years ago and no longer exists - she explained at length how important it was to say nothing to anyone else and the favourable price they would be offering. When it got to the point where she wanted an email address so she could send me documents to fill in I asked her whether she thought I`d come up on the down train - she affected to not understand my meaning but things went south after that......
 


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