1. Things you need to know about the new ‘Conversations’ PM system:

    a) DO NOT REPLY TO THE NOTIFICATION EMAIL! I get them, not the intended recipient. I get a lot of them and I do not want them! It is just a notification, log into the site and reply from there.

    b) To delete old conversations use the ‘Leave conversation’ option. This is just delete by another name.
    Dismiss Notice

Long shot - anyone with experience of fake chimneys?

Discussion in 'off topic' started by hc25036, Jan 21, 2021.

  1. JimmyB

    JimmyB pfm Member

    Yeah, ever felt you're in the wrong trade?
    hc25036 likes this.
  2. dweezil

    dweezil pfm Member

    That sounds tight, around £24k per house?

    I suppose it depends on what other mouths the builders have to feed.
  3. hc25036

    hc25036 pfm Member

    I heard the calculation goes that the final 5% of the development is the profit....
  4. Vinny

    Vinny pfm Member

    There is LOADS of folklore - the old one used to be, build two to cover costs and the third is 100% profit.
  5. Barrymagrec

    Barrymagrec pfm Member

    I doubt big developers pay the headline rate.....
  6. Vinny

    Vinny pfm Member

    On services used frequently, yes, granted, but anything used once in a blue moon..............
    Things like skip hire - an awful lot of the costs to the skip provider are unavoidable.
  7. dweezil

    dweezil pfm Member

    See what happens when it goes, they might take it back to the yard. We collect any rubble available through the year and get a crusher in for a couple of days when the yard's half covered.

    It's a valuable resource, until some idiot decides to put a bit of asbestos on the heap.
  8. hc25036

    hc25036 pfm Member

    It’s in a skip along with a few metres of batten (I’ll have that later), a bunch of broken tiles, half a bag of sand (I’ve had that), some cement (I’ve had some of that - I’ve got some pointing to do) and some pots from the other houses (no good for plants, so they can keep those)!
    Last edited: May 12, 2021
  9. gintonic

    gintonic 50 shades of grey pussy cats

    make some art out of it, sell as a one off unique garden sculpture on etsy or ebay
  10. robs

    robs should know how this works by no

    Just ridiculous......why on earth would anyone, or any council, or any planning department, think that a fake chimney is a good idea.....complete lunacy.

    Anyway, glad you got it sorted ( a while ago!).

    Edited to add - the first photo shows everything you need to know about what was wrong...flashing going under the tiles...duh..
    hc25036 likes this.
  11. tiggers

    tiggers pfm Member


    Let's put something on the roof that serves no purpose and might cause leaks. It's utterly ridiculous!!
    hc25036 likes this.
  12. hc25036

    hc25036 pfm Member

    The final indignity - the local scrappy just jumped out of his van, smashed the chimney in the skipo to bits with a lump hammer and drove off with the lead!
  13. Pete MB&D

    Pete MB&D Pete Maddex, the one and only!

    Did he ask permission? It's theft if he didn't.

    brumjam likes this.
  14. hc25036

    hc25036 pfm Member

    Nope - but we decided rather that than see it in landfill. The developer was happy for us to help ourselves to left over batten and some slates.
  15. Pete MB&D

    Pete MB&D Pete Maddex, the one and only!

    You should have had the lead as well.

    hc25036 likes this.
  16. stevec67

    stevec67 pfm Member

    Normal behaviour for the scratters who cruise round looking for things to steal. A mate rang up a scrapman to tell him about some metal, the scum turned up, took the metal at the front, and then went in the back garden and stole a pair of flipflops that were by the back door. I'm strongly against capital punishment, but I'd cheerfully reintroduce crucifixion for these. In fact, crucifixion's too good for them.
  17. garyi

    garyi leave blank

    Well I get where you are coming from but crucifixion for stealing a pair of flip flops seems a little harsh. What would you do if they rogered your rabbit?
    lordsummit and stevec67 like this.
  18. sean99

    sean99 pfm Member

    To the OP - I suppose if one has a fake chimney one would require the services of a fake sweep.
    I just wish I'd thought of this when the thread was first started.
    lordsummit and hc25036 like this.
  19. stevec67

    stevec67 pfm Member

    My rabbit's nails. Anyone tried to roger him, he'd rip them a new one. It wouldn't be pretty. He can look after himself.
  20. hc25036

    hc25036 pfm Member

    That would have given us the laugh we needed just then!

Share This Page


  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice