John o’ Groats to Land’s End virtual walk

Consider yourself fortunate they may have mistaken your air of general dodderiness as not constituting a credible threat. The UK Nuclear Constabulary is armed.

 

This book arrived today, well in time for the Great Push Southwards in a couple of weeks' time. I will use it as my Pennine Way guide - I hope some of Simon's humour and eloquence rubs off. I can tell you now that his deep love for The Smiths won't.



It must be intensely annoying and perplexing for a book to watch its perceived value plummet. This had an original RRP of £16.99, there's an Oxfam sticker inside pricing it at £5 and I bought it for £3.71 including postage. I mean, it's not as if it has a PSU that is going to break down irreparably or a timing belt that will eventually need a costly replacement, and it doesn't have a best before date...

I decided to knock off some virtual walk miles today with a canter round the racecourse. As I nosed to the front of the field entering the home straight, the going got rather blustery.

 

76 days and a border is reached.

 

500 miles. Andrew Curtis was the member of the Press Corps lucky enough to see our intrepid hero pass that landmark as he walked along the Pennine Way outside the enticingly-named Shitlington Hall. Photo © him (cc-by-sa/2.0)



Up to date map here but annotations and rest of site a bit behind at the moment.

 

Please do not disturb. 90 days in and he has finally hit The Wall.



Photo © Dave Kelly (cc-by-sa/2.0)

 

Good Friday Elevenses at Sycamore Gap. I was very impressed by the apparent progress, but it turns out I was getting confused with Watford Gap. Still, a handy load of wood for getting a brew on.



Photo © Mike Quinn (cc-by-sa/2.0). Mike also provided the matches in exchange for a couple of slices of baguette and raspberry jam - God’s own breakfast when partnered with salt crystal butter. Although Uncle Marchbanks PLC’s chocolate and sultana cookies run it close.

 

Nice selection of scran there.

 

I was going to say I love a dry stain dyke but that looks like a Roman wall! Delightful scene btw.

 

What "stain" would you be looking for?

 

Indeed, the Roman wall - the Pennine way runs alongside for a dozen miles or so. According to Wikipedia it could originally have been eight to ten feet across and twelve feet high - and maybe plastered and whitewashed, glowing in the sunlight. Must have been quite impressive!

An unexpected joy of this virtual walk is the desire to see things in reality. Already I really want to spend a night at the Forsinard Flows Tower, visit the Inchindown oil tanks and the Elie Chainwalk, cross the Forth and Tay Bridges on foot, watch East Fife (preferably playing Raith Rovers)… I have a feeling I might end up wanting to walk the Pennine Way, but that would take an awful lot of planning. Not to mention being more than usually foolish.

 

To celebrate the better weather and 100 days of walking I want to do a few longer rambles this week. I limbered up today with 8.5 miles over Warwickshire fields. Despite being overcast it was good to be out. There was a touch of warmth in the air, the blossom was out, the hedgerows were alive with birds, yada yada yada...

First I saw Clun Castle, giving it some sooty wellie...



Someone else mapping out a long-distance walk...



I walked through a field of strange-looking sheep (they are Warwickshire Long-necks. At least that's what I was told by Chatbot GTI or whatever he's called. And I'm sure he wouldn't lie.)



And I was left marvelling at the ingenuity shown by some folk when it comes to naming their houses.



Tomorrow I think I might venture into the next county. I've told cook to prepare all those things necessary for a 13-mile yomp (anchovy toasts, quail's eggs, smoked salmon vol-au-vents, cold cuts etc.) and I've lined up a series of plastic bottles so I can quickly locate the correct colour liquid for any time of day (brown for early morning, red at lunchtime, clear in case of exhaustion.)

 

Is that a baguette in your backpack or are you pleased to see me?

 

Always pleased to see you of course, and yes, it is a baguette. At the time it was supposed to be functioning as a hatstand. A gentleman always carries a spare trilby, bow tie and tin of moustache wax. Sadly there must have been a rogue gust of wind up in the hills - the trilby is probably now sitting on a yak’s head somewhere in Scandinavia.

 

100 days completed yesterday. Seems serendipitous, as I'm pretty much halfway down Britain and halfway across England. A celebration bottle will be opened tomorrow, but a Guinness or two will do the job for now. A nice spot for it too, next to the Tees. That innocuous-looking track is in fact the mighty and majestic Pennine Way. Photo © Dave Kelly (cc-by-sa/2.0)

 

Congratulations pilgrim.

 

Why I went to Coldstream - a detective story. Warning - even more rambling than usual.

 

Excellent as usual. You might want to check out his brother, David, the 1st Baron Marjoribanks.

 

Yes, he definitely sounds like one of us too - descended from a wine merchant, changed his name to keep his wife’s money and property, died after being knocked down by a horse-drawn bus outside his club (not that I’m casting any aspersions…)

Also ‘David Robertson’ is a weirdly coincidental name, as those intimate with Marchbanks’ genealogy will be aware.

 

Looking out for the English in Coldstream...

 

Having reached Ribblehead, after paying his respects to the viaduct Lego Marchbanks attempts to find a bed for the night at the Station Inn. Unwittingly, he stumbles into a photo taken 42 years ago by someone on a similar pilgrimage. Someone whose virtual walk he is currently illustrating.



Photo © me 1981, digital remastering © @Lefty 2023