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Ikea will do anything to stop you finding your way out.

klfrs said:
I visited the IKEA in Croyden when it opened. It was nightmarish, so first and last time.
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Don't mention Croydon IKEA. Many years ago I went there on a Saturday, the place was heaving. Just after I'd taken my place in the long queue for the checkout the system crashed and everything stopped working. Absolute pandemonium, tempers frayed, almost hand-to-hand combat, particularly between those customers who were part way through the checkout, and the staff preventing them from leaving with the items that had been rung though the till but not paid for. After about an hour the system was restored, I had waited because I had driven many miles to get there. By that time it was a scene of devastation, abandoned trolleys, screaming children, arguing parents, people receiving medical attention, etc. I never returned.
 
I once visited the Croydon Ikea soon after it first opened. It was shite and I've never been back.
 
We occasionally stop at Tottenham IKEA for lunch on the way to my sister's. The meatball meals are quite good (veggie for me) and the unlimited weird tasting fizzy drinks are great, at least until the novelty has worn off, but as you have to have at least 5 glasses to get your money's worth, and you only have a choice between the dispensers with very weak watery drinks, or overly strong sickly ones (do they do that on purpose?) you inevitably feel sick and bloated.

Unfortunately I always seem to make the same mistake around the lifts as it's very difficult to get out of the "restaurant" without going through the shop. I swear I did it once, but I didn't write down how and whichever combination of lifts and stairs I take now I never seem to be able to avoid going through the shop.

If I can't help grabbing some tea light holders or exotic house plants with interesting looking exposed roots, I quickly put them down again when I see the length of the queues, push past a till (as there is no exit for "browsers") and grab ice creams on the way out via the fast food cafe (queueing again to buy the tokens to get them from the dispenser).

I'm not sure if I'll miss it when it closes shortly, or breathe a sigh of relief.
 
I’ve no issue with Ikea other than location (they tend to be miles away from wherever I live). I remember the Warrington one opening back in the mid-80s. It represented quality cheap furniture with some real design flair, which for many like myself on low income was quite a radical prospect at the time. Cheap no longer meant ugly shite.

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I still have three of these Jarpen chairs from that first year. Pure ‘80s minimalism and have proven a surprisingly good investment. Can’t remember what the red lamp is called, but that is collectable now too. The best of Ikea is proper design. I think it is less good now than it was back then though. Doesn’t seem as radical anymore, though I guess that is just everything else catching up.

PS The only Ikea stores I’ve ever been in are the Warrington and Ashton ones and both are easy to avoid the show floor if you know what you want. There tends to a showroom, a cafe, a large area to pick up smaller items (lamps, cutlery, cushions etc) and finally the big warehouse and checkout. All distinct locations and fairly easy to shortcut once you’ve got the gist of the store. I absolutely hate shopping for anything other than records and get really stressed in shopping centres etc, e.g. the likes of the Trafford Centre is hell for me, but I’ve always found Ikea quite relaxing. I’d not want to go there on a weekend or bank holiday though, but I’ve never had to!
 
Nero said:
I reckon there have been people living in the one in Southampton
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I have been able to escape and look at the cruise liners from the top of the car park. But driving the A6 up and down those spiral ramps always gives me the willies…..
 
I remember the IKEA in Warrington opening. We (me and G/F of the time) went on the first weekend. Had to park ages away on a pavement in the industrial estate - place was chaos and rammed. It was quite exciting to see quite well designed and made stuff for the home that was well affordable for young people such as ourselves.

Not much IKEA stuff left in my house today, just some everyday Champagne flutes and water glasses in the kitchen and some ceiling light fittings and bedroom furniture from the Hemnes range in the attic bedrooms. The long runs of Billy bookcases in the last house are gone, as are a couple of Sofas we had together with numerous lights. The kids loved the little orange egg chairs we had for them.

I learnt all the shortcuts in the Birmingham store over time - they are dead handy.
 
The Warrington store has a single line 'tube map' showing the exit/tills but fails to show 'you are here'. Last time I was there I nearly freaked out.
The hot dogs aren't anything remotely describable as edible food.
 
suzywong said:
I have been able to escape and look at the cruise liners from the top of the car park. But driving the A6 up and down those spiral ramps always gives me the willies…..
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wheeeeeee! It makes me dizzy, but yes, the view is nice
 
The collectable modern furniture site Pamono is interesting if you search for Ikea (which should come up in my link). The best of it is genuinely good design from very credible and respected designers. It stood out at the time and has remained highly desirable.

I’ve not been to an Ikea for a while so I’m not sure what if anything is in this category today, but my impression is it has got a lot safer and more bland over the years. Even so I bet there is some really good stuff lurking somewhere. They always gave good new designers a chance and applying cost limitations can often produce some very sharp and interesting thinking. Any great designer can design a great chair given enough time and resources. Very few can design a great chair to sell at £40 or whatever and that is the interesting bit IMO.
 
We went to the Warrington store not long after it opened and got some laminate flooring for the morning room, it had to be glued down unlike the modern stuff, it's still there in place. The 25 year old doors of the kitchen units are now showing their age. The storage unit for my hi-fi is still going strong.
 
klfrs said:
The IKEA in Croydon didn't when I visited.
I asked the staff and was told 'it's a one way system, and customers have to go around it all to the exit'.

Looking forward to your next uninformed lecture, dear.
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There used to be shortcuts in the Croydon store, they weren't signposted and were hard to find. Only found out about them when I watched a shop worker disappear into one, had a look and could see into the next section of the store maze. I wonder if staff are told not to tell customers about them or if they have been taken out now?
 
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