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Curmudgeon Corner

Discussion in 'off topic' started by Snufkin, Apr 11, 2020.

  1. Mike Reed

    Mike Reed pfm Member

    I do hope it doesn't double up via a colonoscopy; that would make me listless.
    ks.234 likes this.
  2. KrisW

    KrisW pfm Member

    Anyone who says “we’re all beautiful on the inside” has never seen a colonoscopy photo.
    naimplayer likes this.
  3. Bart

    Bart pfm Member

    You are meant to evacuate first you know.
    Mike Reed likes this.
  4. Bart

    Bart pfm Member

    Some properties in my locale have lovely thick privet and laurel garden hedges, trouble is they extend about a metre over the pavement, then they go and park their cars and vans half on the pavement as well making it impassable unless you are as skinny as a beanpole and don’t mind the odd twig in your ear hole!
  5. Marchbanks

    Marchbanks Hat and Beard member

    Especially as you must be very, very careful in those circumstances not to let any zips or buttons on your clothing come anywhere near the beautiful paintwork on the car, lest they should cause an unsightly scratch.
    Bart likes this.
  6. naimplayer

    naimplayer Aspiring to be a halfwit.

    scratch the vehicles with the shears you have to carry to pass through the tiny gaps.

    good luck stay safe
    Bart likes this.
  7. TheDecameron

    TheDecameron Unicorns fart glitter.

    I usually move their door mirror into an inconvenient position for them with my hand as I pass.
    Bart likes this.
  8. Joe Hutch

    Joe Hutch Mate of the bloke

    Warning: contains sweariness
    Bart likes this.
  9. Big Tabs

    Big Tabs looking backwards, going forwards

    A few choice things that are sheeting on my strawberries.

    • Football
    • Zoe Ball
    • Tomatoes that taste of nothing
    • Potatoes that taste of nothing
    • Thick people
    • Wilfully ignorant people
    • Devices that solve constructed problems, that aren’t problems
    • People who buy pre-chopped/pealed vegetables or fruit, blinking retards.
    On a more personal note, aching testicles. An issue for over a year now and I have to stop the medication that is providing (some) relief, as the hospital consultation is in two weeks.
    It feels like the ache that happens 5 minutes or so after getting a kick (whatever) in the nuts, and is fairly constant. It puts me in a depressive mood, and that is not my default state. Bollocks.
    Bart likes this.
  10. Sue Pertwee-Tyr

    Sue Pertwee-Tyr neither here nor there

    Such as: lying on the pavement by the door
    naimplayer likes this.
  11. zeon

    zeon pfm Member

    Some footballers wages actually DO go up by 200% though
  12. Bart

    Bart pfm Member

    Digressing slightly, the plastic cover on my door mirror disappeared recently (literally the cover,not the workings inside). I strongly suspect it was nicked as a replacement cost over £80!! (Just the plastic cover remember).
    It also took me about an hour to clip it on being scared stiff I would break it by forcing the little plastic fixings.
    Ford Grand C Max in case anybody’s interested.
  13. TheDecameron

    TheDecameron Unicorns fart glitter.

    I had two carefully removed while parked outside in the street. PITA
    Last edited: May 31, 2021
  14. Bart

    Bart pfm Member

    Bought some ‘ripe and read to eat’ peaches in the posh supermarket, reduced price as use by date reached, hard as rocks when I unwrapped them, 3 days later they had softened up and were a tasteless, woolly mush inside. What on earth do they do to fruit these days!
    MikeMA and Sue Pertwee-Tyr like this.
  15. Big Tabs

    Big Tabs looking backwards, going forwards

    Yup. I occasionally take back tasteless or weird texture fruit/veg. Trying hard to stop The Wife buying salad leaves in plastic bags, but apparently pea shoots are what she wants...

    Tangerines - Satsumas are a good example of something that looks good, but can taste of practically nothing. I did get some spring greens recently and they were fine, tasted green :)
  16. Seeker_UK

    Seeker_UK Feelin' nearly faded as my jeans

    Duck pears. Rock hard and tasteless. What the **** are they all about?
  17. Mike Reed

    Mike Reed pfm Member

    Sainsbury's 'Ripe and Ready' peaches, nectarines, apricots etc. Reminds me of the 3Rs at school; ripe, ready and rubbish. I've taken back quite a bit this winter. It's tasteless marketing and gives me the pip !
  18. Marchbanks

    Marchbanks Hat and Beard member

    It was ever thus...

    Bart likes this.
  19. ks.234

    ks.234 pfm Member

    Augmented reality. If reality is augmented is it really still reality, or does real reality only become really real after it’s been augmented?

    And what was reality before augmentation? Was it not really real?
    Dozey and julifriend like this.
  20. Sue Pertwee-Tyr

    Sue Pertwee-Tyr neither here nor there

    I have a problem with reality at the moment. Not a fan of the current version. Perhaps a bit of diminished reality would be a small relief.
    deebster likes this.

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