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Brexit: give me a positive effect... XV

Discussion in 'off topic' started by Minio, Oct 9, 2021.

  1. farfromthesun

    farfromthesun pfm Member

    Aren't you a short hop away from Epping?
  2. TheDecameron

    TheDecameron Unicorns fart glitter.

    Container ships now diverting away from inundated British ports to unload in Europe. This is turning into a full blown crisis and the government? Don’t panic buy, don’t panic buy, don’t panic buy!!!

    Met friends from Seville today- no food shortages, no fuel shortages, everything normal.
  3. wacko

    wacko pfm Member

    Maybe Boris will venture out of Goldsmiths luxury pad in Marbella and have a look around...not that reality has ever affected anything he might say or do.
  4. eternumviti

    eternumviti Wittering on the Vine

  5. Minio

    Minio Not flakey and never soggy ...

    Just don't let it ruin your Christmas.
    I bought as many Fidget Spinners as I could today.
    Toy shortages are looking pretty grave in the coming months.
  6. farfromthesun

    farfromthesun pfm Member

    As such, not that much of an invasion!
  7. stevec67

    stevec67 pfm Member

    You may not think so, but remember EV is from the South East. The north of England starts early down there. You know the signs on the A1 that say "Hatfield and the North" ? Well, EV thinks that's short for "Hatfield and the rest of the North" .
    farfromthesun likes this.
  8. eternumviti

    eternumviti Wittering on the Vine

    Ah, perhaps I've known Epping longer than you have. When I was born (in nearby Ongar) cattle, sheep, pigs and geese were still, just, being sold at Epping market in the High Street. I used to go with my father to the livestock market in Bishops Stortford well into my teens, where he would often sell a few pigs. Several of the pubs had market licences. Out in the villages the vast majority of the populace were members of families that had been employed on the land for generations, and the old rural Essex dialect was still common - it's almost extinct now, driven to the northern and seaward extremes, where is has merged with a modified Suffolk accent.

    Strong outposts of a rapidly bastardised Cockney existed in Harlow Newtown, Basildon and in the old estuary market towns such as Ilford and Romford, which were being quickly absorbed into London's Eastern conurbation or suburbanisation, with swathes of brutal redevelopment in the 1960s which completely removed the former rural character. It is really from those outposts, driven by rapidly increasing wealth since the 1980s, that has seen the spread of the estuarine geezer and tatted duck lips across the south of the county. There's many an old boy who I knew when I was young, who went on the hay carts to London when they were boys, who worked on threshing teams in the 20s and 30s, or who worked as the village builder stroke funeral director, or who dug the graves by hand, who wouldn't recognise this place now. All the old farm cottages, even the ex-council houses, are dwarfed by the Porsche and Range Rover 4x4s parked on paved driveways that used to be their well-tended vegetable beds.
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2021
    Spraggons Den, ff1d1l, PsB and 3 others like this.
  9. eternumviti

    eternumviti Wittering on the Vine

    Actually, you've got that wrong. So have I. In my mind the North doesn't begin till your out of the Shires, with maybe an exception for North Yorkshire. It has outposts in the old industrial and port cities though - Sheffield, Leeds, Manchester, Liverpool. The Midlands comprises Birmingham, Coventry and Stoke-on-Trent. Grimsby and Hull are figments of remembered nightmares, even when you've never been there.

    Hatfield is very much south. Newport Pagnell is a service station on the M1.

    The M1 itself is Midlands from the M25 till it reaches Chesterfield. It then becomes Scotland.
    Sue Pertwee-Tyr and wacko like this.
  10. TheDecameron

    TheDecameron Unicorns fart glitter.

    That’s an exquisitely turned account of life there EV. I think you have a touch of the Vivian Stanshall about you. When I got to the bit about attending the market to sell livestock in your youth, I was fully expecting the account to extend to you being scalded by your mother on your return home for selling the pigs for a bag of beans.

    Had you considered publishing An Essex Bestiary, with other notable inclusions beyond the Estuarine Geezer and the Tatted Duck Lips?
    MikeMA and eternumviti like this.
  11. Barrymagrec

    Barrymagrec pfm Member

    Is this an episode of Look back in Ongar?
  12. farfromthesun

    farfromthesun pfm Member

    I must confess that I was born and raised in Basildon.
  13. stevec67

    stevec67 pfm Member

    Aye well, we all have our cross to bear.
    eternumviti and farfromthesun like this.
  14. TheDecameron

    TheDecameron Unicorns fart glitter.

    I had erroneously placed Gillian Taylforth (any excuse to work her into a thread) in Essex. She is in fact a Londoner, born in Islington and indeed the infamous ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ episode took place not in Essex but in Herts, near to the aptly named Trotters Bottom.


    That leaves only the Range Rover connection.
    eternumviti likes this.
  15. MikeMA

    MikeMA pfm Member

    I'm really enjoying this thread particularly, but by no means confined to, the pithy exchanges between @TheDecameron and @eternumviti. Sometimes I can't stop laughing, and I ponder on what it would be like to meet them together in the pub, or a decent wine bar.

    I'm finding it hard not to gloat over the unfolding brexit disaster.
  16. SteveS1

    SteveS1 I heard that, pardon?

    Gloating would be the last thing on my mind, I think it's tragic and always have. Admittedly zealots who were dismissive of warnings and indicators from people affected, who continue to double down on it - get much less sympathy, but this is a horrendously divisive, avoidable national disaster with no tangible benefit for the vast majority.
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2021
    ff1d1l likes this.
  17. matthewr

    matthewr spɹɐʍʞɔɐq spɹoɔǝɹ ɹnoʎ sʎɐld

    Possibly apocryphal, but one of the tabloids once did a story about a library closure in Ongar with the headline "Books lack in Ongar".
    Rob998, roman, PsB and 2 others like this.
  18. eternumviti

    eternumviti Wittering on the Vine

    There was a young lady from Ongar
    Who had an affair with a conger
    They said 'How does it feel, to sleep with an eel?'
    She said 'Just like a man, only longer'.

    Almost certainly Spike Milligan.
    roman likes this.
  19. eternumviti

    eternumviti Wittering on the Vine

    I recall that, it may have been real. The library survived.
  20. matthewr

    matthewr spɹɐʍʞɔɐq spɹoɔǝɹ ɹnoʎ sʎɐld

    roman, Rob998, eternumviti and 2 others like this.

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