Brexit: give me a positive effect... XV

[Nick_G]

Field Marshal Francois fails to find a publisher for his Brexit memoir.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politic...lf-publishes-brexit-memoir-claiming-remainer/

I can't read the article because it's behind a paywall, and even if it wasn't it's the Telegraph so...
...still amused me to see the headline:



Yes Field Marshal, that's the reason

Whether this works in general I don't know, but if I open Telegraph links in Google Chrome it bypasses the paywall. It's worth a try.

 

[TheDecameron]

 

[Seeker_UK]

 

[zarniwoop]

The Amazon reviews are worth a read. Unfortunately Amazon are now restricting reviews to authorised purchases, citing unusual reviewing activity. It’s still possible to mark existing reviews as “helpful” should you be so inclined.

 

[TheDecameron]

I was just looking at images of Angela Merkel’s retirement and asked myself, how in gods name did we end up with people like these leading Britain?

 

[stevec67]

I was just looking at images of Angela Merkel’s retirement and asked myself, how in gods name did we end up with people like these leading Britain?

Weird, isn't it? In the outside world they wouldn't get beyond middle management at best in some electrical retailer or widget factory. Yet they run the country.

 

[richardg]

Weird, isn't it? In the outside world they wouldn't get beyond middle management at best in some electrical retailer or widget factory. Yet they run the country.

I wouldn't trust them on the till, though.

Or the warehouse, for that matter.

Maybe cleaning?

 

[Colin L]

The Amazon reviews are worth a read. Unfortunately Amazon are now restricting reviews to authorised purchases, citing unusual reviewing activity. It’s still possible to mark existing reviews as “helpful” should you be so inclined.

I see what you mean...


Wowbagger the Infinite
5.0 out of 5 stars The Greatest Work of Literature Since "À la Recherche du Temps Perdu"
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 December 2021

Everything I wanted this book to be, it was. One of Britain's greatest ever Politicians, his service to his country through his various military exploits would be enough for several volumes of mere mortal's autobiographies, but Mr Francois takes us even further with tales of his own selfless dedication of ripping Britain bodily from the evil clutches of the Empire regardless of what harm it would do to the economy, the working classes and the entire future of the country. He really has put the count into country.

There are so many wonderous moments, almost too many to list in this short review, but personal favourites of mine include his clandestine work as a ninja with the Rough Ramblers in various commando raids on Tidworth Barracks NAAFI, the moment on BBC Newsnight when he nearly chinned Will Self if Emily Maitlis hadn't held him back (mainly because she was so in love with him), his legendary apres conference party in 2017 when he had to disappoint both Cameron Diaz AND Keira Knightly (who were both right up for it), as he was otherwise engaged trying to give Nadine Dorries her worming tablet, and the moment he broke the land speed record, recorded a duet with Tony Bennett, knocked out Anthony Joshua with one punch, and managed to reach the top shelf magazine he was after without resorting to either his step ladder or his "Mr Big" uplift shoes.

The finest work of literature this country has produced since Don Estelle's autobiography. And both roughly the same height. Read and be utterly amazed.

 

[Tony L]

A page of the Francois memoirs has already been leaked (Twitter).

I’ll just quote my own link and post the image as I suspect not many saw it. It had me chuckling for quite a while:

 

[DonQuixote99]

It's the season for this ditty again. I wrote this in late 2016, but I think it holds up. Some names probably should be changed, of course....


It's beginning to look a lot like Brexit
Ev'rywhere you go;
Take a look in at #10, sandbags are up again
With Theresa in the bunker eyes aglow.

It's beginning to look a lot like Brexit
Nothing in the stores,
But the scariest sight to see is that mob that's on TV,
It's at your front door.

A pair of stormtrooper boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Nigel and Paul;
Marmite and toast and someday a roast
Is the hope of Mary and Moll;
And Mom and Dad are wondering if school will start at all.

It's beginning to look a lot like Brexit,
Pound sure took a fall;
There's a gate blocking the Chunnel, airports are closed as well,
So looks like we'll be staying after all.

It's beginning to look a lot like Brexit;
UK's come apart,
But the thing that will chill your piss is they've closed the NHS,
Oh be still, my heart!

 

[Brian]

I wouldn't trust them on the till, though.

Or the warehouse, for that matter.

Maybe cleaning?

Depends on the industry. They would do ok in pharma, food or tobacco.

 

[eternumviti]

I was just looking at images of Angela Merkel’s retirement and asked myself, how in gods name did we end up with people like these leading Britain?

I don't think Angela ever did lead Britain.

I'd suggest you are reading too much Daily Express. Again.

 

[Brian]

I was just looking at images of Angela Merkel’s retirement and asked myself, how in gods name did we end up with people like these leading Britain?

Assuming you saw a picture of some tories, they won a GE, thanks in no small part to insufficient numbers voting for the opposition.

 

[richardg]

Assuming you saw a picture of some tories, they won a GE, thanks in no small part to insufficient numbers voting for the opposition.

Decameron seems to think he had nothing to do with it.

 

[wacko]

I was just looking at images of Angela Merkel’s retirement and asked myself, how in gods name did we end up with people like these leading Britain?

If only.

 

[TheDecameron]

My own view is that when the time comes, all hands must go down with the Brexit ship. Johnson, Gove, the Spartans et al, can’t be allowed to take to the life rafts. Then of course there’s the VIP Lane members. There has to be restorative justice.

 

[Brian]

My own view is that when the time comes, all hands must go down with the Brexit ship. Johnson, Gove, the Spartans et al, can’t be allowed to take to the life rafts. Then of course there’s the VIP Lane members. There has to be restorative justice.

That’s you gone then, since you helped it along.

 

[TheDecameron]

I'd suggest you are reading too much Daily Express. Again.

Speaking of which, they’ve given an ultimatum to Boris:


Brexit LIVE: Sort this NOW or lose your job - Boris sent stark warning after poll shock
BORIS JOHNSON is under massive pressure to finalise Brexit and the UK's departure from the European Union after the shock result from the Old Bexley & Sidcup by-election sent a stern warning to his Conservative Party.
Daily Express, 4 Dec 2021

They seem to be in a time warp, we brexited some time ago we were told. Love the shouty capitals.

 

[Tony L]

Brexit terrorists/“legitimate” political party Britain First bring their harassment and bullying tactics to the RNLI (London Economic).

 

[ff1d1l]

Brexit terrorists/“legitimate” political party Britain First bring their harassment and bullying tactics to the RNLI (London Economic).

Absolute scum.