Sorry to hijack this thread, but instead of creating another related thread I figured best to search for an existing one, and this is about the closest I could find, so I'll append what I was going to write on a new thread here, so it's amongst kindred spirits etc...
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My father, who has been on his own now for about nine years, is starting to struggle with stairs and has a lot of the 'old man problems' that you'd expect of a nearly-80-year-old who carries too much weight. His nice home is starting to decay due to his inability to keep on top of the routine maintenance, the garden is getting beyond him and he's also getting to be very stubborn. I'm about an hour and a bit away, my sister two hours away, and other than our visits, he barely sees anyone. He's - how can I put this - not exactly the most agreeable old gentleman, so over the years friends have fallen away (either through apathy, his cantankerousness, or just by passing). His social circumstances are a bit grim, and he shows no interest in doing much more than sitting at home, watching crap daytime TV and complaining about everything.
My sister and I are thinking about buying a flat near to her (something on the ground floor in a modern, quality development in a good part of Aberdeen - in fact, on the same street as my sister) and have seen a couple that would work well. Problem is, he refuses to give in to common sense. To be fair, he'd be far better off in a smaller, modern place, closer at least to my sister and her family. We already technically own his home (he passed it onto us a while back, but remains living there) and it probably needs a fair bit of work, which would be easier without having to work around him. Plus, he'd cope better with a nice, warm, easy to heat flat (that's actually very nice).
I figured others here have probably been through this, so looking for any advice, stories from the trenches, persuasive arguments for awkward old sods, even practical thoughts on whether we should even be considering this. Left up to him, he'd be happy - well, that's the wrong word - shall we say, resigned? - to living out his remaining days in a cocktail of bored isolation and increasing squalor (he's not cleaning the house well and refuses our offer to get a cleaner in a couple of days a week).
I know, I know, a very open-ended and contentious subject, but I - no, we - are at a loss here. You'd think he'd jump at the chance to be around family and the grandkids, but no.
Anyone?
