Not wanting to stir a hornet's nest (much) but the only coppers that ever wind me up are traffic cops! I had one weave through 10 miles of traffic in rush hour a couple of years ago because his computer said my car was not insured. He was on his way to work, driving the other way to me so he turned round to nick me. It took him 20 minutes to get to me from Hull Infirmary to Brough. He then made me sit there for 20 minutes because he did not believe my insurance doc could contradict his computer. So I had to wait while someone down the station checked it all out. Then he had to drive back into town. One hour of his day wasted.
Biggest. Bellend. Ever.
And what about the ones that sit on those motorway ramps eating McDonalds.
Only ever had one negative experience with a traffic officer and that was a couple of years ago, I was driving down the Highstreet early hours of the morning after dropping some friends home (I’m almost always the designated driver due to the fact I don’t drink much), he’d pulled out a side road a few hundred yards down the road coming towards me and had his high beams on and was blinding me, flashed my high beams at him, I couldn’t even tell that it was a police car... next thing I know, he’s put his blue lights on, done a u turn and came after me. I knew he was going to pull me over so I just pulled up and waited for him. He tried to accuse me of speeding, which of course he had no evidence because I hadn’t been, next he told me I stank of alcohol... I’d only been drinking Becks Blue, which is alcohol free, I gladly took his breathalyser which obviously came back negative... but he wasn’t finished, he then turned his attention on my car and went through it with a fine toothed comb, found nothing untoward, my car was 18 years old at the time but was and still is meticulously maintained... still not satisfied, he wanted to dress me down for flashing my lights in his face... he’d not let me get a word in edgeways until this point. I then pointed out the fact that I’d flashed my lights at him because he’d got his high beams on and was blinding me, so much so that I couldn’t tell what kind of car was coming towards me, they were still on at that point. He looked decidedly sheepish but still didn’t offer an apology... so my dash cam footage of the whole episode went to his gaffer... who apologised on his behalf.
I’ve only been pulled over four times in about fifteen and a half years, first time about three months after passing my test, I was doing 40 in a 30 zone, I was obviously very apologetic, told them the truth (that I was trying to get to the cinema before the next screening of Pirates Of The Caribbean), they were very nice and had a sense of humour, told not to do it again in front of a police car and then said jokingly “you’re going to have to put your foot down if you want to get to that movie on time”. We got in just in time for the end of the trailers.
Second time way early hours of New Year’s Day in 2012, I been working on a live gig with multiple bands and was stone cold sober, they could tell that I was completely sober and simply asked where I’d been, remarked that my job sounded much more fun than theirs on that night, wished me a happy new year and let me on my way.
Third was the tit I wrote about above.
Fourth was a fortnight ago, early hours on Sunday morning. I’d been working and had dropped a friend home at the end of the night, however I was quite unwell, I had a chest infection and was suffering with chest cramps/back spasms, I was on a stretch of road where I didn’t want to just stop (a rat run with lots of bends) so I just slowed down, a police car came up behind, clocked my speed and thought it odd, they pulled me over in the nearest safe spot (by Chasewater in Burntwood) and immediately realised I was unwell. They were great and totally understood my decision to try and find a safe place to stop, they offered to call for medical assistance but with a few puffs of my inhaler and five minutes of rest, I started to feel okay, they stayed with me until I was sure I was okay to continue on home.
Also in Burntwood last year, I had a brake warning light come on and pulled up by McDonald’s to try and investigate, not easy when you’re disabled, a police car pulled on whilst doing their rounds and they immediately came to my assistance, fetched a torch from the boot and found a damaged brake line. They asked if I was okay getting home but I have RAC cover and was able to get towed, It was kind of them to help, they didn’t have to, it was properly above and beyond laying on a wet car park looking under my car.
