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I've just watched a young woman make four trips to the coffee bar and back to achieve what she could have done in two if only she had dared to put her bloody phone down for a minute. Immediately the Grumpy Old Man t-shirts reappeared. How do they know what you are thinking?
 
It`s too young for you.
By at least 30 years, lol! I just like the print.

Showing my bare legs is out for me anyway. Thirty years of inhaled corticosteroids for my asthma & allergies have left my skin as thin as cigarette paper. I wear shorts at work in warm weather & now even the slightest graze heals into a scar. I couldn't even shave my legs if I wanted to!
 
I'm still mostly getting the anxiety relieving pet bed, but just now had one for 'search for military ancestors'. The military bods in the advert seem to be Americans though, so it's unlikely I'm related to any of them, though my father had an uncle who emigrated to the USA in the 1920s.
 
I’m still getting the Grumpy Old Man t-shirts on a regular basis (fair enough) but a goodly amount of carp bait too. Plus ‘try not to gasp when you look at this photo!’ I didn’t have to try.
 
I’m still mostly getting MicroFocus COBOL. Someone clearly wants me to junk this place and go make a bloody fortune talking to ancient mainframes!

PS No one would ever hire me as it is just so, so long ago that I had any discernible skills, but you can make £1k+ a day fixing or porting COBOL programs now!
 
Handbag with the motto, "The beauty is on the inside." The algorithm knows me :).
 
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