Went for a day trip to the East Midlands. First stop was Derby, in order to try out a second-hand camera lens. I decided to buy. I had been warned in advance that I wouldn’t be able to take it with me, so I sat in a corner of the shop, ordered and paid for it online, selected free 24-hour DPD delivery and, having checked with the salesman that the order had gone through OK, left without it. Mine is not to reason why.
There was a record shop next door, so in I went. ‘Bloody hell, it’s a beard contest’ said the boss. I looked around and saw the only other two punters also had longish beards. ‘Yours wins, though’ he continued, nodding towards me. Blatant flattery designed to get me to buy something, of course. So I did - I thought I could do with an addition to my Bowie collection.
Kudos to Derby, I thought as I strolled through the intermittent rain showers back to my car. Kevin Coyne is not an obvious subject for a blue plaque.
Then into Leicestershire to stock up with beer from Britain’s only trappist brewery. The monk at the sales counter was a born hustler. ‘Buy those two dozen bottles in the smart wooden crate for £99 and you get 10% off every time you bring it back and refill it. The crate pays for itself in six refills!’ He tried flattery too. ‘Nice camera. Is it a Leica?’ Er, no, a Panasonic. He got me with his ‘postcard of the abbey? All proceeds go to support Ukraine’ though. Yes, OK.
This time I resisted temptation and came away with just a dozen. By now it was a beautiful afternoon and a walk was compulsory. My public footpath phone app showed me a three-mile circuit around the abbey. It looked lovely nestling in the greenery.
When I got home I noticed the sudden burst of hot sun today had caused the corner of the rickety bird-box to split, causing a half-inch gap between front and side. The occupants were getting a taste of open plan living that they probably didn’t want, and worse, a dribble of moss and feathers was hanging from the bottom. I threw caution to the wind and pushed it back together again. Mum and Dad are still frantically feeding offspring, so I think I got away with interfering. When it gets dark I’ll stick a strip of tape on it to hold it together.