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Our Impending War With France

BertieWorcester

What-ho!!
I'm pleased to report that Tubby Cavanagh and myself have managed to get a few of the old fellows together, and we've decided to go over and lend a hand. We plan to set sail from a top-secret location near Plymouth Hoe straight after lunch tomorrow, and anticipate that it will be all done and dusted in time for Songs of Praise on Sunday.

However, we are in urgent need of a cook and a night-watchman. Anyone up for it?
 
I'm pleased to report that Tubby Cavanagh and myself have managed to get a few of the old fellows together, and we've decided to go over and lend a hand. We plan to set sail from a top-secret location near Plymouth Hoe straight after lunch tomorrow, and anticipate that it will be all done and dusted in time for Songs of Praise on Sunday.

However, we are in urgent need of a cook and a night-watchman. Anyone up for it?
Have you asked Starmer? A bit of gunboat diplomacy would look good on his CV
 
I'm pleased to report that Tubby Cavanagh and myself have managed to get a few of the old fellows together, and we've decided to go over and lend a hand. We plan to set sail from a top-secret location near Plymouth Hoe straight after lunch tomorrow, and anticipate that it will be all done and dusted in time for Songs of Praise on Sunday.

However, we are in urgent need of a cook and a night-watchman. Anyone up for it?
Will you bring me back a half-hundredweight of Jersey Royals, please.
 
I'm surprised that Jersey depends on those damned Frenchies for a bit of leccy. Isn't it about time we demonstrated out plucky British spirit by getting the Chinese to fund Jersey's very own mini nuclear power station? We could get the French to build it....
Oh!.. hang on..
 
I'm surprised that Jersey depends on those damned Frenchies for a bit of leccy. Isn't it about time we demonstrated out plucky British spirit by getting the Chinese to fund Jersey's very own mini nuclear power station? We could get the French to build it....
Oh!.. hang on..
20% of UK power supply is owned by EDF…
 
Yep.. If I'm not mistaken that is the result of previous Tory insistence on the UK being an independent force on the World stage.
Indeed. Like the postal services, rail franchises, national airline, etc, which are now owned by businesses in the EU which are, in some cases, themselves owned by the relevant EU member state.

Anybody recommend a good supplier of irony meters, mine keep blowing up.
 
Latest fake news.
HMS Severn and HMS Tamar were patrolling the waters around Jersey when the French gunboat Athos, sent to support the blockade, collided with the Tamar and sank.
Apparently they couldn’t see the Tamar thanks to its new Dazzle paint job…
 
Seriously though, it's a fu**cking mess isn't it? Five years ago, we had the referendum; surely it wasn't asking too much of the government to sort things out in that time. The sale of most of our publicly owned assets abroad means that the hope of us being in any way self-dependent, is a complete joke. The French can plunge Jersey into darkness & there's not a lot we can do about it. Everything that Johnson promised before he became prime minister has amounted to nothing so far.
 
Seriously though, it's a fu**cking mess isn't it? Five years ago, we had the referendum; surely it wasn't asking too much of the government to sort things out in that time. The sale of most of our publicly owned assets abroad means that the hope of us being in any way self-dependent, is a complete joke. The French can plunge Jersey into darkness & there's not a lot we can do about it. Everything that Johnson promised before he became prime minister has amounted to nothing so far.

Yeah but it's a real vote winner for Johnson innit. Stick it them Frenchies Mr de Pfeffel!! They don't like it up 'em.
 


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