Yep, that’s very true, I was devastated when my grandad died, he was 95 & a big part of my life. Wish he’d lived to see my son graduate from Law School, it would have meant a lot.
Death and more death!
- Thread starter wow&flutter
- Start date
Suffolk Tony
Aim low, achieve your goals, avoid disappointment.
The ages between 60 & 70 are a dangerous time. I read the other day those ten years are known as “Sniper Alley” with certain of the medical professions.
In our local rural area we've suffered three recent tragic deaths, all young people. Our friend up the lane suddenly developed a brain tumour, and died at the age of 48. He & his wife had only recently finished doing up their house. Then a lad in his early twenties, the son of a near neighbour and who kept a large flock of sheep, for some reason unknown to his parents went out early in the morning & shot himself. Finally, another friend and local farmer in his early sixties had felt unwell, was diagnosed with leukaemia, and died within two weeks.
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sean99
pfm Member
Or, to quote Dickens “fellow passengers to the grave”.
My sympathies to those dealing with grief. I think I’m still processing my father’s premature death in 2015 (mesothelioma).
cctaylor
pfm Member
My aunt moved 200 odd miles to a new house in her 90th year, within 3 months she had bought and moved into another!
We all knew the first house wasn't ideal for her but the perfect house appeared on the market virtually as she moved in.
cutting42
Arrived at B4 Hacker Ergo
My sympathies and best wishes to all suffering losses at the moment. My father is in a home in the final stages of prostate (now bone) cancer. Seeing a tall confident intelligent man who helped everyone and was that person you went to with any problem to get a fix, now bed ridden skin and bone and struggling to remember what he did yesterday is incredibly tough. He is 92 and had a wonderful life and 32 years of retirement. My life is currently trying to spend as much time with him as possible.
martin clark
pinko bodger
@JTC
I don't disagree - but to an extent , that also depends on how much we each enjoy what 'we' [has-to] do for money , meanwhile.
I am very fortunate: I find meaning, and no small fulfillment in such - while also desiring so much more freetime for other things!
It's a calculus, different for each of us. And - then , Life happens, indifferent.
I don't disagree - but to an extent , that also depends on how much we each enjoy what 'we' [has-to] do for money , meanwhile.
I am very fortunate: I find meaning, and no small fulfillment in such - while also desiring so much more freetime for other things!
It's a calculus, different for each of us. And - then , Life happens, indifferent.
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paulfromcamden
Baffled
cctaylor
pfm Member
I don't recommend putting things off. You don't know what is round the corner.
My fit and active father suffered an aortic aneurysm aged 67 and passed away after 5 days in ITU. Heather had her hip replaced at the end of 2019, transforming her mobility and we were looking forward to so much in the years to come. Yet within a few months she was diagnosed with non-operable lung cancer. Radio and chemo therapies ultimately had little effect on the tumor. She passed away at the end of 2021 also aged 67.
My fit and active father suffered an aortic aneurysm aged 67 and passed away after 5 days in ITU. Heather had her hip replaced at the end of 2019, transforming her mobility and we were looking forward to so much in the years to come. Yet within a few months she was diagnosed with non-operable lung cancer. Radio and chemo therapies ultimately had little effect on the tumor. She passed away at the end of 2021 also aged 67.
Bart
pfm Member
raysablade
pfm Member
After a brutal 18 months between 2009 and 2011 my wife and I became the oldest members of our respective families before we were 50. She had lost her father before she was 30.
It is a big reason why I retired as early as I could.
It is a big reason why I retired as early as I could.
blossomchris
I feel better than James Brown
I worry more about others dying than myself, although not suicidal I often reflect on life and struggle to understand why our world is so cruel and inhumane and I accept it and attempt to enjoy existence, ti's b......s really and the art of bluff.
canonman
pfm Member
After my wife passed, around 3 years ago, I was utterly devastated after over 30 years together. She will never be forgotten of course but I had a long hard look at myself, taking the decision to be positive and start looking for someone new. Fitter than ever as well which can only be a good thing.
The result? Just come back from a fantastic time away with an incredible new love in my life. I made my own luck and am now happier than ever and expect to be married again within a year.
The result? Just come back from a fantastic time away with an incredible new love in my life. I made my own luck and am now happier than ever and expect to be married again within a year.
It shouldn't scare you. I firmly believe that when we die we go to a better place and that takes the fear away.
Seeker_UK
Feelin' nearly faded as my jeans
I'm envious of anyone who has come to terms with it.
A few years ago, a friend's mother went to hospital with a terminal diagnosis. The doctor stipulated nil by mouth and for nearly a week my friend and his Dad had to sit by her bedside unable to comply with requests for food or drink, just watching her die. I am still incandescent with anger at the callousness. In A&E I was once given morphine I neither wanted, needed or had asked for, it would have been so easy to ease her suffering.
I fear a bad death more than I fear death.
I fear a bad death more than I fear death.
wow&flutter
pfm Member
The best friend second in my original post was diagnosed with type two diabetes, usual symptoms excessive urination and a desperate thirst. He was one of those people who loved to be exacting in everything he done (he was a Technical Officer but also an ex mechanic who loved rebuilding cars at home . After his diagnosis he really struggled to control his blood sugars which I just couldn’t understand, he was logging his food intake and speaking with his Hospital contact regularly but he just couldn’t control it. I was looking after my fathers diabetes at that time so I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t do it. His first consultant tried him on a purely dietary solution that became common at the time (was it 700 calories a day?) which had no effect. His second consultant immediately put him on a insulin regime.
He then developed stomach pain and after an endoscopy and various test was sent home with pain killers (nothing found). He was losing weight, I was suspecting some form of stomach issues or even something cancerous but they just ran some tests every time and sent him home.
He was eventually admitted and the pain meds were increased time and time again. I remember visiting one time when his wife asked if he takes the offered medication when will he be permitted to take it again and was told (I think) four hours. She said well we know the effect only lasts two hours so what are you going to do for the remaining two? The meds were administered and sure enough he was screaming in pain (in a side ward) two hours later!
His wife asked for additional pain relief and was told “two hours”.
Surprisingly enough the docs were happy to jab him with something to calm him when he was pulling his catheter out and was being pinned to the bed by staff but not for the pain!
She walked down the corridor, found a wheel chair, lifted him into it (there was nothing left of him at this point, just bones) and wheeled him down to A&E in that very hospital. He was seen very quickly but it appeared the doctors were happy with the testing his doctors upstairs had done and sent them on their way back up to the ward.
After many days he was checked and tested (after screaming insistence from his wife) for cancer and was found to have had pancreatic cancer all that time ( no surprise his insulin injections were having little effect).
After confirmation of the disease and very limited limited life expectancy he was then prescribed Methadone to relieve the pain unfortunately there was none in the hospital!
Following day it arrived and although still conscious he was delirious but the pain appeared under control for the first time in months!
He died within the week.
Painful to watch but infinitely more painful to live!
Now I should point out that it may have been the staff were working within guidelines or from instructions from senior doctor/consultant and their hands were tied but in my eyes no one in 2022 should be screaming in pain for two hours within a UK hospital or any hospital for that matter!
I should also note that the other deaths (where applicable) I mentioned where the NHS were involved were very much in line with what a human (or animal) should expect in the UK this decade!
He then developed stomach pain and after an endoscopy and various test was sent home with pain killers (nothing found). He was losing weight, I was suspecting some form of stomach issues or even something cancerous but they just ran some tests every time and sent him home.
He was eventually admitted and the pain meds were increased time and time again. I remember visiting one time when his wife asked if he takes the offered medication when will he be permitted to take it again and was told (I think) four hours. She said well we know the effect only lasts two hours so what are you going to do for the remaining two? The meds were administered and sure enough he was screaming in pain (in a side ward) two hours later!
His wife asked for additional pain relief and was told “two hours”.
Surprisingly enough the docs were happy to jab him with something to calm him when he was pulling his catheter out and was being pinned to the bed by staff but not for the pain!
She walked down the corridor, found a wheel chair, lifted him into it (there was nothing left of him at this point, just bones) and wheeled him down to A&E in that very hospital. He was seen very quickly but it appeared the doctors were happy with the testing his doctors upstairs had done and sent them on their way back up to the ward.
After many days he was checked and tested (after screaming insistence from his wife) for cancer and was found to have had pancreatic cancer all that time ( no surprise his insulin injections were having little effect).
After confirmation of the disease and very limited limited life expectancy he was then prescribed Methadone to relieve the pain unfortunately there was none in the hospital!
Following day it arrived and although still conscious he was delirious but the pain appeared under control for the first time in months!
He died within the week.
Painful to watch but infinitely more painful to live!
Now I should point out that it may have been the staff were working within guidelines or from instructions from senior doctor/consultant and their hands were tied but in my eyes no one in 2022 should be screaming in pain for two hours within a UK hospital or any hospital for that matter!
I should also note that the other deaths (where applicable) I mentioned where the NHS were involved were very much in line with what a human (or animal) should expect in the UK this decade!