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Coronavirus, the media and mental health

I'm just about getting by but my mum is beginning to worry me; her demeanour when I speak to her on the phone suggests she's suffering from (at the moment) mild depression. I guess being widowed last year and now stuck on her own isn't doing her many favours and her coping mechanism - going out for a drive to places - is not an option. I've suggested keeping herself active but all I get is "What's the point?" or regularly ringing her friends just to speak to someone who isn't me but she won't do that either ("They'll get fed up of my whining").

I'm not a mental health expert but knows she needs help before it gets worse. What the **** can I do before it starts affecting me on top of everything else going on?
Seeker, try the third sector like Age Concern and other bodies. They often have funding and are keen to sign post services. A lot of Mental Health services are currently adapting and switching to phone contact and other approaches. Another route is elderly social work/ health visitor teams ( via GP). My FiL is 84 and he’s just about giving up the ghost, ruminating on things and ‘waiting for the virus to get him’. It’s impossible to distract him from it and he has to find his own equilibrium in adjusting to this.
 
Noticed this thread hasn't had a post since April 2020.
I think it would be a gigantic understatement to say things have moved on a bit since then..
We are now at about 60000 deaths and a currently almost exponential increase in infections. It's not a great look..

With specific reference to 'mental health'.. I did very well over the Summer. In our little 'Cul De Sac' we had lots of safe, distanced activities to keep up spirits. Frankly.. they weren't always what I needed.. but they helped others.. so I participated and grinned. All a bit 'Ever Decreasing Circles'... but all well meant.

I always find this time of year difficult. The whole Christmas build up.. for me.. becomes increasingly claustrophobiic and I just want it over with. If it was just a day or two I'd love it. but all the bollox wears me down...

So.. tack that onto the 'new variant(s)' and the Brexit shambles and it becomes almost unbearable.

But.. I've managed to limit the booze. Also.. I've kept down the 'chemical support'... though an hour ago I 'dropped' a whole 1.25mg Diazepam for the first time in weeks... Amazing stuff. The knot in my neck has gone and I don't feel sick.

How are the rest of us doing...?
 
@Mullardman - good idea to fire up this thread again. Thank you.

I think the reality of the year, and how heavy its been, should not be underestimated. Its easy to form opinions of others, either positively or negatively, just on their postings on this forum - that's not a wise move IMO.

I've very carefully tried to avoid the 'keyboard warrior' position of getting to personal insults, or bashing an opinion with supposed sarcasm - its just not helpful. Much more healthy to have a reasoned response or discussion. I do frequently visit the Covid thread, for example - but I do ask myself if there is any benefit to any contribution I make to that thread in particular.

More widely, my exercise regime has been maintained. Golf being allowed has supported socially distanced interaction with good mates, and my ongoing push to get ready for a Spring or Summer 2021 piano exam also continues well. My wife, a key worker for the police, has also been very resilient thru what has been very challenging times for them. I often wonder what it would have been like for me, at my rank and responsibility, if I were still in. My mum has not fared so well. Her confidence and resilience has suffered quite dramatically. Comes with living alone, and being worried about catching Covid. Daily phone calls, and frequent visits help - but she will not get back to her old self, I fear.
 
Short answer is: I think I've been coping ok.

Slightly longer self pity crap answer:

I'm even more afraid of "outside" and people generally, but that's just a small incremental change- I've not left my flat for years anyway apart from essential shopping to Aldi or local corner shop once a week or so. I used to get 2 weeks food at a time, but now I'm struggling to carry a weeks worth, which sucks. It's only a few hundred yards away, but it's getting more and more difficult to carry stuff back. Legs get very wobbly and ache. I mostly buy the same crap every time- bacon, bread, and stuff for spag bols. Sometimes I get spuds and sausages instead. Yeah I eat the same crap all the time. I can't really cook, and it's not really important anyway. It's just cheap fuel. Anything nice would be wasted on me, or I'd cock it up trying to cook it, and I can't afford to do that, so..no risks. I do occasionally treat myself to some chocolate or cake, but always feel guilty. No teeth doesnt help either, but at least that means no more tooth ache. and the whole face mask thing I like. Hides my face.

I do have days when going out for food feels too much bother or too scary, but hunger usually stops that apathy after a day or two. I haven't been depressed, I don't think- but I can never really be sure of that until it gets really bad, and so far this year, it hasn't. Recently taken up chess, after not having played since I was a little 'un. Only against the computer or chess.com bots. Not against people, too scary.

I do miss my brother more and more though. He died 6 years ago now, and the pain of his passing feels more acute now than ever. The first thing I do every morning, and last thing at night is say "Ayup John or G'night John. It's just habit, and habits are pretty much all I have. Miss you John.

Don't know if I should remove this long answer crap. Might delete it later.
Sorry to have gone on so much, when everyone else is having much worse times. I hope you all find a little joy and peace.
 
Dik you post strikes a lot of chords for me, hope your alright, i'd offer to play you at internet chess but i can't even play Connect four without being soundly beaten every time! :)
 
I'll be glad to get Christmas out of the way to focus on the new year, but I'm not looking forward to being back at work when the numbers are going through the roof, it's like Russian roulette and only seems a matter of time before I catch it.

What focuses the mind is that my mum's elderly uncle died from covid last night, and it was his daughter that gave it to him as an asymptomatic carrier. That would destroy me if I were to do the same.
 
I had a very difficult week last week. All of my neighbours of similar age were offered the vaccine but I wasn't.. I have to admit I got into a 'bit of a state'.. but I now have a vaccine date..so that's all sorted. It turned out to be a 'cock up on the IT front'

On the other hand.. I have suddenly caught up with all those who seem to be incapable of staying home and just 'sitting it out'... and those who just don't 'get it'. I'm beginning to miss travel.. new sigts.. seeing realatives and friends etc.

Don't panic folks.. I'm not about go charging around snogging, ( I should be so lucky) spitting and coughing into everyone's face... It's just that I have finally caught up and I am beginnng to really miss all kinds of things.. from hugging Grandkids, to simply seeing a new vista.

At present it feels like it's a race between getting the vaccine...and catching Covid. Logic says if I carry on as I have. I shouldn't catch Covid... Anxiety denies this...

This is not easy
 
Dont know your story Dik, but cooking is easier than you think. You would be well rewarded with a good diet too, health wise. Learning something new whatever your age is just a case of breaking it down into small bite size pieces that are easy to digest. (see what I did there? ;))

Just some food for thought... (And again!)

All the best
 


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