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Curmudgeon Corner

Of late, one thing that is getting on my pip is the BBC mantra that ‘we are your friends,’ or ‘we are all family.’ (frequently heard on BBC 6 Music)

There is a simple way to test these claims. If BBC6 will not lend you their socket set or turn up at your funeral, they're not your friends. If they don't make you doubt your life choices every 5 minutes, they're not your family.
 
Once again, we can only apologise for the interruption to this thread. It too it seems could not escape the effects of the pandemic, with the efforts of forum members being totally expended trying to keep it together whilst the world turns to shit that the capacity simply was not there to complain about the little things in life that really shouldn't matter but somehow still do. Whilst this situation is understandable it cannot be allowed to continue. And so to resume:

Businesses that are 'here for you'. My bank is so here for me they have emailed me 3 times this month, including one that the Chief Irritating Officer personally wanted to write to me (me, not you) to assure me that he really cares how I am and that the banking facilities that have remain unchanged for ages and I pay for are still here for me.

I even had one from the water company telling me that the water is here for me too. 'I know', I thought to myself, 'it's pissing it down as I type'. He neglected to mention what they had told me a few days earlier though, which is that between the hours of 10pm and 6am this week the water may not be here for me, or at least might be a bit cloudy and hungover. But no problem, to get it clean just run the tap for 20 minutes. What's that sir, middle of the night you say, water meter you say?

Tl;dr

This thread is here for you
Excellent post, completely agree! It tends to go hand-in-glove with people who claim to be passionate about whatever it is they're trying to flog you. I've spoken about that before on here, so won't repeat myself (though I did have to check whether I'd actually said it, or just imagined saying it. This is, of course, another aspect of curmudgeonliness).
 
Yesterday a delivery of some clothes my daughter had bought was due. The day before I received an email from Royal Mail to say it's coming tomorrow morning, plus a text with the same message. Nice, I thought, good communication.

Then yesterday another email and text to say it's coming today. OK, good. Then daughter checks the online tracking and it says the parcel has been returned to the sender as it was incorrectly addressed. Sure enough there's an email about that too. But no text. So had she not been on my computer and looking we wouldn't have known.

A previous order from this place had never arrived and was eventually refunded, but not before multiple emails back and forth, with all of those from the shop beginning 'Hey deebster!'.

The shop name? Boohoo. Oh the irony.
 
Don't know what you mean...

Yes you do :D

Oh, and one more while I'm at it - me. For being a tightarse and persisting with a 10 year old iPad that freezes and crashes when writing a post (once 'draft saved' appears it's usually curtains) but not going to my main computer to do it instead.
 
When taking taking The Savage Beast for her daily walk in my beautiful New Forest, I can’t help noticing a huge increase in numbers out and about since Covid. Ordinarily I wouldn’t mind a few outsiders coming in to enjoy our great outdoors, but these days there is far too many of them clogging up our car parks with their shiny 4x4’s and their disgusting habit of littering the splendour of our flora by displaying their little black bags of dog shit from their silly little dogs with ridiculous little bows on their collar, on posts, trees and bushes.

We need to put up borders to keep these bloody filthy foreigners out. #newforxit
 
There's a skit in the current Private Eye headlined 'Twitter user horrified at people in park while walking in park'.
 
When taking taking The Savage Beast for her daily walk in my beautiful New Forest, I can’t help noticing a huge increase in numbers out and about since Covid. Ordinarily I wouldn’t mind a few outsiders coming in to enjoy our great outdoors, but these days there is far too many of them clogging up our car parks with their shiny 4x4’s and their disgusting habit of littering the splendour of our flora by displaying their little black bags of dog shit from silly little dogs with ridiculous little bows on their collar, on posts, trees and bushes.

We need to put up borders to keep these bloody filthy foreigners out. #newforxit
Now that we've got our sovereignty back, there is nothing to stop us restoring the death penalty for dogshit bag tree decoration.
 
When taking taking The Savage Beast for her daily walk in my beautiful New Forest, I can’t help noticing a huge increase in numbers out and about since Covid. Ordinarily I wouldn’t mind a few outsiders coming in to enjoy our great outdoors, but these days there is far too many of them clogging up our car parks
Maybe I need a better monitor, or new specs, but I read that as 'dogging up in our car parks'
 
On the subject of dogs, my curmudgeonliness meter hit the end stop last night when I saw (saw is the operative word, fortunately the sound was off) a couple of minutes of some horrendous kind of dumbed-down dog show. The human participants were without doubt the campest selection I’ve ever seen gathered together, repeatedly putting their hand over their mouths in mock horror and/or surprise and doing that annoying fast-clapping gesture whilst bouncing up and down. The canine ones all looked as if they would rather have been anywhere else. I think one was wearing a bow-tie, but I may have imagined that. Then there was a truly repulsive section where each pair of dog and human were shown in a slow-motion snog, which seemed to involve tongues on at least one, and sometimes both, sides. At this point I had to run to the bathroom. Fortunately by the time I had cleaned myself and the basin up, it had finished.
 
On the subject of dogs, my curmudgeonliness meter hit the end stop last night when I saw (saw is the operative word, fortunately the sound was off) a couple of minutes of some horrendous kind of dumbed-down dog show. The human participants were without doubt the campest selection I’ve ever seen gathered together, repeatedly putting their hand over their mouths in mock horror and/or surprise and doing that annoying fast-clapping gesture whilst bouncing up and down. The canine ones all looked as if they would rather have been anywhere else. I think one was wearing a bow-tie, but I may have imagined that. Then there was a truly repulsive section where each pair of dog and human were shown in a slow-motion snog, which seemed to involve tongues on at least one, and sometimes both, sides. At this point I had to run to the bathroom. Fortunately by the time I had cleaned myself and the basin up, it had finished.

It was inevitable TV would end there once they made TOWIE and Cheshire Wives.
 
On the subject of dogs, my curmudgeonliness meter hit the end stop last night when I saw (saw is the operative word, fortunately the sound was off) a couple of minutes of some horrendous kind of dumbed-down dog show. The human participants were without doubt the campest selection I’ve ever seen gathered together, repeatedly putting their hand over their mouths in mock horror and/or surprise and doing that annoying fast-clapping gesture whilst bouncing up and down. The canine ones all looked as if they would rather have been anywhere else. I think one was wearing a bow-tie, but I may have imagined that. Then there was a truly repulsive section where each pair of dog and human were shown in a slow-motion snog, which seemed to involve tongues on at least one, and sometimes both, sides. At this point I had to run to the bathroom. Fortunately by the time I had cleaned myself and the basin up, it had finished.
Have you seen the film “Best in Show”? Highly recommended.
 


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