The Children Poll
- Thread starter cutting42
- Start date
Seeker_UK
Feelin' nearly faded as my jeans
poppop
pfm Member
Im 63 with twins - boy&girl. They will be 22 in December. Son works for Nexen petroleum(or is that CNOOC now). The nature/ nurture debate is interesting with twins.
Both obviously brought up in the same environment but could not be more different. Daughter is an absolute bloody nightmare, and seems to have lived 3 lives already! She is at Pirbrite at the minute, and I only hope she can overcome her knee injury and progress to the Royal Artillery. Though the idea of her having a gun is disturbing. She's a handful, but of course, I love her to bits.
Steve
Both obviously brought up in the same environment but could not be more different. Daughter is an absolute bloody nightmare, and seems to have lived 3 lives already! She is at Pirbrite at the minute, and I only hope she can overcome her knee injury and progress to the Royal Artillery. Though the idea of her having a gun is disturbing. She's a handful, but of course, I love her to bits.
Steve
martin clark
pinko bodger
“There is no reciprocity. Men love women. Women love children. Children love hamsters. Hamsters don't love anyone; it is quite hopeless" - Alice Thomas Ellis
- also - this:
- also - this:
Mullardman
Moderately extreme...
To be frank, I wasn't especially bothered about having kids, but we ended up with two girls... now 34 and 39 and I wouldn't send them back..
Oldest is married and has supplied two adorable Grandkids and a sound son in law. She has all of the health issues, being partially sighted, asthmatic, and currently on about her fourth or fifth broken bone. Ankle this time. But she is a pragmatist and a hard working Mum and Grad, despite her disability.
Youngest is a designer. Very 'driven' and in her own words 'plays hard ball' in 'business', but is really quite emotionally fragile.
The oldest needs me for putting shelves up and suchlike, as her hubby's talents don't include D.I.Y.
The youngest frequently needs my emotional support, or just a 'shoulder'. It's very touching that she thinks I have answers, when I mostly doubt it.
We're at that point now where the roles 'flip', and the kids are starting to see us as more of a 'responsibility/liability' than as a resource. ( Except for baby-sitting) That's a new feeling for me.
Although we didn't have them with this in mind,.. it's a bit reassuring to know that they will be there for whichever of us remains after the first one doesn't.. as it were....
Oldest is married and has supplied two adorable Grandkids and a sound son in law. She has all of the health issues, being partially sighted, asthmatic, and currently on about her fourth or fifth broken bone. Ankle this time. But she is a pragmatist and a hard working Mum and Grad, despite her disability.
Youngest is a designer. Very 'driven' and in her own words 'plays hard ball' in 'business', but is really quite emotionally fragile.
The oldest needs me for putting shelves up and suchlike, as her hubby's talents don't include D.I.Y.
The youngest frequently needs my emotional support, or just a 'shoulder'. It's very touching that she thinks I have answers, when I mostly doubt it.
We're at that point now where the roles 'flip', and the kids are starting to see us as more of a 'responsibility/liability' than as a resource. ( Except for baby-sitting) That's a new feeling for me.
Although we didn't have them with this in mind,.. it's a bit reassuring to know that they will be there for whichever of us remains after the first one doesn't.. as it were....
Mullardman
Moderately extreme...
That's grim. You have my sympathies.
manicatel
pfm Member
Of course it is perfectly possible to lead a full & fantastic life without kids. I have several friends & couples that have chosen to do so. Their money, efforts & emotions can all be channelled into doing whatever they want with their life, whether it's a career, holidays, spontaneity, et al without needing to consider knock on affect to their offspring.
However, no holiday, expensive car, career achievement, item of hifi, cat, dog or anything else will make you cry with joy, pride or pain the way that a child of your own will.
However, no holiday, expensive car, career achievement, item of hifi, cat, dog or anything else will make you cry with joy, pride or pain the way that a child of your own will.
Tony L
Administrator
I suspect the thing you miss is just how different people are personality wise and that some folk really don’t thrive in the sort of loud cluttered random environment a family with children brings! For some of us that is a pretty stressful environment we just don’t enjoy. It doesn’t make us right/wrong, less/more or anything. It is just another one of millions of choices one makes over the course of a lifetime. I think the likening it as a choice between children and material goods as many posts here appear to do misses the point entirely, for me its more a long-held realisation that it would drive me totally nuts!
richardg
Admonishtrator
It's true this. Possibly.
My understanding of people, the world and other philosophical areas has been greatly enhanced because I had children. I therefore conclude that there must be many others that have benefited like me. And also that there must be many whose understanding of the world has been constrained by not having kids.
richardg
Admonishtrator
Thanks
gintonic
50 shades of grey pussy cats
But the enhancement amount depends on the starting point.
No, what simplistic view of life. Life is holistic, we develop our understanding of the world is so many ways, progeny are just one aspect of that.
