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About to get screwed over - divorce and pensions advice, anyone?

sq225917 said:
So, if I took a job that paid more, pissed my money away and provisioned no pension, but my Mrs took less pay and a better pension then I'm due half of it...

What a remarkable set of circumstances.
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That situation is about as far away from reality as can be. Not sure why you would think of such a scenario tbh.
 
Marriage is a 50/50 thing, that is the deal. She could've stayed at home and not earned a penny; she'd still be entitled to to 50%. And vice-versa. Her pension and yours are part of your joint assets. You deserve a fair share. Go and see a solicitor. An hour or two won't cost you much. And check out whether her pension has an inflation proofing element. My wife's does. (She was a teacher.). One reason I wouldn't swap her for a room full of Ukranian hookers.
 
sq225917 said:
So, if I took a job that paid more, pissed my money away and provisioned no pension, but my Mrs took less pay and a better pension then I'm due half of it...

What a remarkable set of circumstances.
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For better or for worse, that's the deal with marriage. If you don't want it, don't do it.
 
ps. My Mrs has just told me that I would continue to get half her (teacher's) pension were she to die before me.
 
AndyU said:
Marriage is a 50/50 thing, that is the deal. She could've stayed at home and not earned a penny; she'd still be entitled to to 50%. And vice-versa. Her pension and yours are part of your joint assets. You deserve a fair share. Go and see a solicitor. An hour or two won't cost you much. And check out whether her pension has an inflation proofing element. My wife's does. (She was a teacher.). One reason I wouldn't swap her for a room full of Ukranian hookers.
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Yes TP has inflation proofing.
 
The ignorance shown on here by a lot of posters about how pensions are treated by law in divorces beggars belief.

Some of you guys need to join the 20th century, never mind the 21st.
 
Make an informed decision by getting a comparison of your individual, total assets. The reality is that you will be entitled to a share of her pension, as she will be yours. The difference is that her final salary scheme will be very valuable as such schemes are now very rare and significantly outperforming industry standard.

Only you can decide whether pursuing her pension is worthwhile. It could cause tremendous heartache and stress but an informed decision either way is the best course.
 
AndyU said:
Marriage is a 50/50 thing, that is the deal. She could've stayed at home and not earned a penny; she'd still be entitled to to 50%. And vice-versa. Her pension and yours are part of your joint assets. You deserve a fair share. Go and see a solicitor. An hour or two won't cost you much. And check out whether her pension has an inflation proofing element. My wife's does. (She was a teacher.). One reason I wouldn't swap her for a room full of Ukranian hookers.
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I think the pension exchange only applies to the period when you married to when divorce. There are other factors for example if the older person was claiming the pension and the other younger person was still working then the younger person (in my friends case) did not get any of the pension and visa versa.
 
One question. And apologies if I have missed this in the thread, are there any minor children in the equation?

If proceedings are amicable, keep them that way, even if it means there is potentially not an equitable split. The reason I say that is there is a subtle line which, if crossed, will lead one party or the other digging their heels in. Its at that point friends, acquaintances, etc start planting seeds. And then it becomes bitter. At that point solicitors and potentially costly court hearings come into play, and possibly a result worse than imagined.

If you are happy with the proposal on the table, take it. Avoid the grief, the immeasurable amount of time and money fighting over something you may not necessarily have expected to be granted and worse still finding the ultimate award against you leaves you in a worse off position.
 
yes two kids which we both have 50 50 time-wise. I am aware of the risk of creating a worse situation but that should not stop me from pointing out the fair vs unfair financial split. MrsL understands my next home needs to be a 2nd family home for kids, not just some dad pad they visit at weekends.

I will always consider the kids and family situation before my own, but i am not taking an unfair financial beating. I have a home to provide for my kids, and I like to think MrsL would not stoop so low.
 
Have you discussed this with your wife, I imagine she knows you a little better than anonymous folk here.
I don't understand why your asking for advice on a such a delicate matter, here on pfm, seek professional advice if your wife doesn't wish to discuss the details, seeking help here will not help you I feel, just confuse matters.
 
Needs saying,the pain of a messy divorce will be still all too real for those of us who've been through one. You have my sympathy, I hope you can keep things civilised ,as another has said you may be best prepared to take a financial knock to preserve access to the kids( I was a Dad pad Dad).
 
The OP is stuffed and needs to urgently get proper professional advice. If his wife gets 'care and control' (or whatever the new terms are as I believe this was changed) of the children she automatically gets the house. The childrens welfare comes first and the likely effect of any change in circumstance taken into account.

Cheers,

DV
 
You aren't going to be claiming pension for 20 years or so by which time your kids will be adults you'll only see your ex wife during any family critical points and you'll have both moved on with your lives. I would concentrate on amicably agreeing on whats currently best for the kids first then you two second
 
timH said:
You aren't going to be claiming pension for 20 years or so by which time your kids will be adults you'll only see your ex wife during any family critical points and you'll have both moved on with your lives. I would concentrate on amicably agreeing on whats currently best for the kids first then you two second
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Yes because I'm sure that your kids won't mind having to support you when you retire while your ex lives a life of luxury.
 
I think we need a bit of a reality check here
First one is ex wife living a life of luxury on a teachers pension but even better is kids supporting you when you retire ;)
 
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